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2009
Feb
16

And Oscar Is a Boring Name #boringmovietitles

Ana Marie Cox is a blogger, writer, ex-Wonkette, political party animal, D.C. sweetie, one of the most famous people to share initials with a cable TV channel (and BHO comes SO close) and now, one of the Twitterati. One of the people who can create a subject of discussion just by putting a “#” in front of it, making it a Twitter Hashtag. (If you don’t understand, don’t even try).

And on a Sunday in the middle of a three-day weekend, she gave us #boringmovietitles, which, for lack of a better explanation are titles that are simple references to things that are less interesting than the what the movie is about.

Example: “Home Alone”. If you didn’t know what happens in that movie, you wouldn’t expect anything to happen in that movie. Well, by just bringing up the concept, she inspired dozens of Twittering fools to come up with examples, and inspired me to survey a list of the 1000 Biggest Moneymaking Movies Evah! for boringness…

I will try to give credit where credit is due, but the following are the best of what I found attached to the #hashtag (THAT’s what makes the # important). Any duplicates were deleted in favor of whoever first suggested the title (if I did this right).

@anamariecox: “Transporter” subject of running joke with @lehmannchris [husband IRL not just Twitter] for most boringest movie name ever. Competes with “Apt Pupil.”

@DukeStJournal: How about “The Reader”?

@roadkillrefugee: [disqualified for making up silly titles of non-existent movie]

amc: “The Professional” also.

@sashaundercover: You just mean marginally #boringmovietitles not really bad like “Speed Racer” or “Red Dawn”

@ FifthFloorTom: “The Happening” [almost lost because he used the nonstandard #boringassmovietitles tag]

amc: Husband suggests “Jumper,” which sounds like the story of a sweater, as well.

@stonermc: “Clerks,” “The Missionary,” “Fire,” “The Village, “Dune,” Driving Miss Daisy,” “Diner,” “The Cooler,” “Misery,” “Beaches,” “The Wall,” “The L shaped Room”

@gtfourier: How bout “Taken”

@bwvalentine: “The Constant Gardener” has to be among the most boring movie titles ever conceived.

@g: Have you already considered all John Grisham books-to-screen? The Firm, The Client, The Rainmaker, etc.

@WeeLaura: Does “The Tailor of Panama” qualify as a boring movie title? Or just boring to me?

@MarkWAdams: “Being There” great movie, but title just … is.

@OKnox: “Ordinary People”

@lechatsavant: Would “Interiors” count too?

@TeresaKopec: “The Shop Around the Corner”, “The Fly”

@theonetruebix: “The Color Purple”

@AMF7: “Twilight,” “Lakeview Terrace,” “The Duchess,” “The Women,” “American Teen”

amc: #boringmovietitles harder than #wonkpickuplines [a previous amc twittermeme]. What counts? “Absence of Malice” is a legal term but malice inherently interesting.

@ObeliskToucher: “On the Beach”

@patrickkeller: “Milk” sounds like a documentary about dairy farming that you had to watch in junior high science class.

@myrnatheminx: “The Car”

@houx: “The Room,” “Secretary,” “The Pelican Brief” come to mind. “The Firm” is more #wonkpickuplines

@markowitz: “Husbands and Wives”,”Network”, “The Chase”, “Coming Home” and/or “Mary”?

@Fritinancy: “Love Story.” [somebody had to say it but it wasn't going to be me]

@chutry: “Fool’s Gold,” “Office Space,” “Dazed and Confused.”

@Kaplan: “The Wood,” “The Transporter,” “D.A.R.Y.L.”

[this was the point where I discovered and hijacked the meme]
Unfortunately, my birthday movie, “September 30, 1955″ probably qualifies in the oft-twittered category of #boringmovietitles…
“Cars” “Signs” “Rush Hour” (think about it!) “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” “Home Alone” “The Day After Tomorrow” “Nine to Five” “Eraser”

@SteffChilds: “Heathers”

@yoink7: “It” “Made” “He Was A Quiet Man” “Big Nothing” “Silent Movie” “Helvetica”

@charliesdad: “The Brave One” “Contact” … Nothing against Jodie Foster … “Legend” and “The Game”

@jeremymeyers: “Broadcast News” (that ones for you @anamariecox)

@stonermc: “The L Shaped Room,” “K
rakatoa: East of Java,” “If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium”

me: “Collateral” (especially if you’re a banker), “The Others”, tempted to go with “Dead Poets Society”, “Holes”, “The Butterfly Effect”, and what about “Quantum of Solace”, boring or just confusing?

@JBD1: Also “The Phone Booth”

@DeffoTotes: “Now and Then” “Always”

@roadkillrefugee: “The Piano”, “The Notebook”, and “Airport” (plus “Airport 77 and Airport 79″)

@jillinski: “K-Pax,” “Mamma Mia,” “John Q”

@lechatsavant: “The Apartment”, “The Birds” (good movie), “The Conversation”

@katemc432: “My Brother Sam is Dead” gives it all away from the beginning. also “The Two Towers”

@Josh_Shear: “Cocoon”, “The Doors”

@MatthewGCarroll: in retrospect the title for “The Matrix” is awfully dull.

@Morningsidemom: “Failure to Launch” is the least “chic flick” sounding name out there – sounds more like a BORING rocket documentary.

@InsultComicDog “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” [this one may belong more to #movietitlesthatmakenosenseinanylanguage]

@AdrianUribarri: “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” and “To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.” Just kidding! [come on, this is a serious subject, isn't it?]

@triumph68: “My Left Foot”, “The Terminal”, “Longest Road”, “The Faculty”, “One Hour Photo”

@MimAbbyMason: “Deadly Boring” [good find of an obscure movie, with documentation]

@sashaundercover: “Brick” is a pretty boring title

@ErikRedin: How about “Serenity?” I love Joss Whedon, but it’s the brand name of adult diapers. Also, “The Rock.” Just checked IMDB, there’s actually a movie called “Dust.”

@LaFaucon: “300″

@bcubbison: “Joe” “Dave” “Bill” [an every other movie title that is just a common first name... you missed "Ray"]

@InsultComicDog: Coming Soon: Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience [Bad dog! I said no jokes!]

@nurble: “LA Story,” “White?”

@phil_iott: what about “The International?”

@slurrrrpee: “Ed Wood?” [now they're getting rather tentative...]

@ChristinaRoo: “The Station Agent”. Also wins for weirdest ever blurb on Dish guide. [documentation not provided]

@FifthFloorTom: I think we should all agree that the boringest movie title is “The Thing”. Then we can just move on with our lives. [I agree.]

AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...
2009
Jan
6

History Repeats and Hollywood Remakes

cross-posted on MetaFilter

You know the trouble with Historically-Based Movies? Unless you’re an uneducated, ignorant moran, you know how they’re gonna end. At least that’s the argument of this Premiere article on 10 Movie Endings Spoiled By History. Of course there are ways to avoid that problem, as Cracked.com’s (yeah, them) 11 Movies Saved by Historical Inaccuracy declares. Books have been written about Historical Movies’ accuracy or inaccuracy, and everybody has an opinion on what the Best Historical Movies are, but if you want your History purely entertaining, there’s only one mandog you can count on: here are Mr. Peabody, Sherman and the original Wayback Machine dropping in on Cristopher Columbus, Pancho Villa and Francisco Pizarro and the Incas (sorry, no USA History episodes on YouTube).

Notes: “300″ is the only movie on both the ‘Spoiled by History’ and ‘Saved by Historical Inaccuracy’ lists. But it was the inclusion of the Star Wars Prequels on Premiere’s ‘History’ list that motivated me to make this post. What The Frak?!?

And the first episode of Peabody’s Improbable History is less about history and more about adoption issues that are still relevant today.

2008
May
28

What's Happening, Dudes?

M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening”? No, this can’t be right. I’m old enough to remember 1967′s “The Happening”. Anthony Quinn as a pre-Godfather Mafioso ‘accidentally kidnapped’ by hippies played by Michael Parks and George Maharis. Also starring Faye Dunaway and Milton Berle! (Why haven’t Mark Evanier or Spike Priggen blogged about this?)

The movie boasted a theme song with words by Holland, Dozier and Holland and music by Frank De Vol (yes, Happy Kyne himself), and performed by The Supremes that is everything you’d expect from such a collaboration.

Of course, I bring you a YouTube performance, but BE WARNED. THIS WILL CREATE AN EARWORM THAT MAY TAKE ANOTHER 40 YEARS TO RECOVER FROM.