Nothing to see here. Move along.

In my web wanderings, I stumbled on this image being stored at “tinypic”

(It’s not tiny so I shrunk it to fit here; if you’re having trouble reading it, the original’s over here)

Personally, I don’t think that Twitter is the most retarded thing of the current era, (I Twitter frequently, and if you miss me here, check me out there) and I can come up with a lot of other things to fill those word balloons with. Here is just one:

There will be more. In the meantime, speaking of Twitter, the anticipation of the Big Deal that will be the premiere of The Watchmen Movie means that we can expect the Twitterverse to soon be filled with chirping about Owls vs. Bats, Giant Squids, Nixon and Dr. Manhattan’s Private Parts. So, I thought up an appropriate graphic accompaniment.

One more thing, as the cringeworthy saga/ad campaign of the Critically Injured Jack Box continues to careen deeper into the realm of really bad taste, may I recommend a little change in the fast food chain’s corporate branding:

July 16, 2028: Walmart*, after 17 years with over 80% of the market share of Everything for the bottom 80% of the population (by income/net worth), files for Chapter 23 Bankruptcy with the Federal Business Insurance Corp. (FBIC). The one member of the Walton family still living in the U.S. and associated with the company, Chief Nepotism Officer Binky Walton, makes a statement declaring “there’s no money in it anymore” and repeats for the 475th time in 20 years that the asterisky thing in the logo (*) has nothing to do with steroid use.

I tend to remember my dreams better than most people – certainly better than Mr. XKCD. This can actually be a bother when I have a rather dull dream about something I have to do in real life and go through half the morning before I realize I still need to do it. I also have a lot of recurring motifs in my dreams, including one that’s similar to the Seinfeld episode where ‘the gang’ have finished shopping at a mall and can’t find their car in the parking structure. Except it’s not a parking structure for me, it’s a Southern California Classic massive parking lot but even bigger, well, because it’s a dream.

So the other night I had a variation of that dream that I believe was PREDICTING THE FUTURE (dum dum dummmm). Instead of arriving at the mall in a car, I arrived on foot, took off my shoes and placed them in a space in the parking lot. And if you think it’s hard to spot a specific car in an ocean of free parking, just try to find a pair of cheap loafers.

Another thing about this Mall Of The Future I recall: the food court was replaced with law offices. Yep, definitely a dystopian future.