Vulture Culture

 Calendarianisms, WebStuff  2 Responses »
Sep 042009
 

Afbeelding2I posted the International Vulture Awareness Day 2009 over at MetaFilter, but there’s one more thing I couldn’t include on the link-oriented front page.

When I was in high school some 30-odd years ago, I submitted several short verse poems in the style of Ogden Nash to a school literary competition. (One was even titled “Ogden Nash, No Doubt, Is Rolling Over in His Grave”) My at-the-time-topical piece titled “The Panda” (“Just because you’re a gift from Mao / For a bear, you’re a sacred cow”) won 2nd place in Poetry, but I liked my little poem “The Vulture” better…

It’s very common in popular culture
To vent your hate at the ugly Vulture.
Negative opinions rarely vary on
Our feathered friends who feast on carrion.
But here’s a reason to not be so mean:
The vulture helps keep the landscape clean.
So please, let’s all give a great big hand
To nature’s flying garbage man.

Play THEM Off on 9/9

 Pre-Filtered Content  1 Response »
Sep 022009
 

Being a dedicated dog person, I have to support this.
dwocbanner

9/9/09: A Day Without Cats on the Internet

Because why should all the fun on 09/09/09 be for Beatles fans, Apple geeks, 99-cent-store customers and post-apocalyptic steampunk ragdolls. Oh, and also President Obama. Is there anybody NOT doing something special on 09/09/09? Maybe… Satan? (long boring talk by nutcase about Large Hadron Collider and Nostrdamus)

And just for giggles, here’s Yahoo Answers on the significance of the date. (OMG TERRISTS!!! Thank you, Cheese Queen Forever)

Get Tooned In

 Blogbusiness  No Responses »
Sep 012009
 

The expansion of my Internet Empire has officially begun with the unveiling of Tooned.In, a blog about all things cartoony (containing the archive of my previous webcomics blog Funny Paperless, just because I can).

I probably will be changing that logo, as well as some other format adjustments, but the Marvel/Disney news (and what I can do with it) prompted the earlier-than-intended premiere. As I will no doubt say way too often in the blog, Stay Tooned.

And yes, that logo on this blog is going to change too… TOO BIG!

Welcome to the Wendell Zone

 Blogbusiness  No Responses »
Aug 272009
 

Okay, I guess I owe those of you still paying attention an explanation. I have set Wednesday (or Wendellsday), September 30th as a kind of premiere date for the latest iteration of my latest (and possibly last) attempt to set up a small ‘network’ of blogs and mini-sites covering my various interests (as a result, I will write more about more things while the individuals in the audience will be able to follow my views on X while discretely avoiding my views on Y – a win/win). I plan to begin unveiling things on September 9th (because everybody has something happening on 9/9/09) but the official premiere will be Wendellsday, September 30th (which happens to be my mumblemumbleth birthday).

That’s assuming I can get out of the bad Twilight Zone rerun that is my life right now. You know the one where all the mechanical and technical things this guy owned turned against him? (Maybe it was an Outer Limits or Night Gallery, I’m not sure). Well, mine are being more subtle because I’m experiencing on-and-off functionality from my car, refrigerator, microwave, cellphone, cable TV/internet and two laptop computers. It reached a high point of creepiness when my dead cellphone came back to life just in time to call the AAA when my car stalled on the freeway. Don’t know if I’m blessed, cursed or if my warranty on life as I know it just expired, but it appears to be spreading to my physical body, via some nerve spasms that are alternating among various locations in my extremities. So, I am typing this with my fingers crossed, and saving the file every 17 seconds.

And since I have just discovered a WordPress theme framework that does more of what I want than anything I’ve ever used before and I reallyreallyreally want to try it out here, expect this site to look like Matt Mullenwordpress himself threw up on it for the next few days. Because it’s so obvious that I will lose all internet connectivity and/or motor skills while ‘live testing’ it.

But if you do happen to meet up with the ghost of Rod Serling at a seance or Hollywood haunted house tour, please ask him to lay off the Wendell. Thanks.

A ‘What Am I Doing’ Status Update too long for Twitter

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Aug 142009
 

One-third-way through major household clean-up/reorganization. Several bags of trash and/or garbage and/or recyclables are by my apartment’s front-and-only door, mostly blocking it. 50% of my possessions are in disorderly piles on the sofa and desk, making both currently unusable. I had to take a break to cool off, and spilled several pounds of ice (acquired at store when defrosting refrigerator) over a path between the kitchen and the bed, my only available place to sit down, relax and use my laptop. But I felt guilty I was not doing anything to clean up so I got out my cordless electric razor to remove the beard I had been lazily growing for the last month. Of course, the razor’s battery ran down and required recharging halfway, when my facial hair was in a pattern even a crazy person would intentionally have. (And, I am currently clothed in my usual summer housecleaning outfit, which is a pair of my dirtiest underwear also used to clean surfaces) In this state, the chances of someone just dropping by and knocking on my door before I finish writing this is more likely than… there it is!

Call Rewrite

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Aug 132009
 

A recent Twitter #Meme I participated in was “First Draft Movie Lines”, which, despite being hampered by Twitter’s Search function not recognizing #1stdraftmovielines because of the “#1″, still generated some great one-liners from a lot of imaginative people along with a lot of repetitions of “Luke, I’m your daddy”. But for this post, I’m only going to show you the ones I came up with…

I ate his liver with onions. You ever had liver and onions? It’s better than it sounds.

I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but I left my dentures at home!

“Bond, Jimdog Bond”

Soylent Green is one damn fine piece of grocery product marketing!

E.T., send a text message.

Go ahead… make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Forget it Jake, it’s Pasadena.

Use the midi-chloridians, Luke.

I’ve got really low expectations for this.

Houston, we are frakked.

“Houston, we’re shitting bricks.”

We’re gonna need another boat altogether.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You might have killed my father, but I need more evidence. May I swab you for DNA?

I’m mad as hell, and I know there ain’t a damn thing I can do about it, but public ranting is good for my career!

You know Louie, this could be the beginning of a lucrative working partnership.

The truth? You wouldn’t understand the truth, it’s too damn complicated.

I love the smell of Agent Orange brand defoliant in the morning. It smells like we’re accomplishing something!

Badges? Yeah, we got badges, but I’m not sure where they are and honestly they’re a pain to keep track of, okay?

Garfield Minus Wendell

 Wendelsewhere  No Responses »
Aug 132009
 

I have another contribution up at “Square Root of Minus Garfield”, the comic strip mashup that has become so popular (with contributors) that it expanded from 3 to 5 days a week and still took 7 weeks to get around to mine. But I did send in several at once, which means in the very near future, you will get a chance to see my interpretations of Garfield meeting the Laugh Out Loud Cats, Garfield dealing with his ‘boss’, Jim Davis and other things the Square Rooters may or may have the nerve to show the world. If they don’t, I will. We’ll see. Anyway, go there, now, and see how ol’ Gar dovetails with the depiction of cats in “9 Chickweed Lane”.

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