September 29, 2007

This is really a ‘wish I’d written that’ piece. Except, instead of using the term “@$$hole Footprint”, I would’ve used something with the term “Assprint”.

This Story Is Worthless Without Pictures.

So how come there aren’t any pictures on any news site where this story is posted? Wait… here are a couple, thanks to the Chicago Sun-Times (proud home of Roger Ebert… which is proof right there that it’s better than your average newspaper).

The special stop signs documented so far…
“WHOAAA”
“Stop … and smell the roses”
“Stop … right there pilgrim”
“Stop … in the naame of love”
“Stop Means Stop”*
“Stop… or we’ll hunt you down”*
“Stop means that you aren’t moving”*
“Stop. Billion Dollar Fine”** (this one is not exactly good for the city’s credibility)

*from a pictureless article in the Chicago Tribune
**according to ‘Daily Southtown’

NOT mentioned, but I hope are included or will be soon…
“Stop… the world I wanna get off”
“Stop… Thief!”
“Stop… the Madness”
“Last… Stop… Before Home”
“Cant… Stop… the Music”
“Stop… and Shop” (the city should get paid for this one)
“Stop… Payment”
“Stop… me before I kill again.”
“Use Your Brake!”
“Cease and Desist”
“Pit… Stop”
“. Full Stop” (Brits will love it; other won’t get it)
“Pause… and Refresh”
and, of course…
“Stop… Hammer Time!”

ADDENDUM: How could I forget…
“Stop… me if you’ve heard this one before.”

MOREADDENDUM:
“Stop… Children, what’s that sound?”
“Stop… Collaborate and Listen.”