Is A Part Of
Are you among the people who are still having trouble coping with the fact that it’s the 21st Century? Well, frankly, I think the whole 21st Century is having serious trouble coping with itself. Of course, I have my own theories:
First, remember the Y2K bug? Everybody thought it didn’t affect anything, but it did. It screwed up a lot of things, just not the ways we thought it would so it got away with it undetected. Why do you think it takes so long for Microsoft to come out with a new version of Windows? And the secret behind Google? They didn’t fight the Y2K bug, they put it to work for them! (there is no other explanation for the accounting behind AdWords)
Second, remember when Bill Clinton promised to “build a bridge to the 21st Century”? Well, who does most of the building for the Federal Government? The Army Corps of Engineers, the same people who certified New Orleans’ levees. This was also when Dick Cheney was actively managing Halliburton, even then a major government subcontractor. So, obviously, the bridge only got half-built AND is facing the wrong direction.
There were also very important things left hanging at the end of the 20th Century. Like what to call this first decade of the New Millennium. We have now completed 7/10th of the decade, and we haven’t even settled on a theme! The place hasn’t been decorated, and you can’t hire a band if you don’t know what style of music they should play! The only thing that’s ready is the punch, and it’s been spiked.
Then there are the false promises that we should’ve realized were false promises. Flying cars? Just think of what would happen if the driver of average skill suddenly had the ability to move in the Third Dimension. In five years, flying car crashes would wipe out the population of every urban area that has cars. So, if it’s so bad, who benefited from us believing in it? Think about it: the fuel for cars comes from oil in the ground. So, while.everybody was looking up, looking for the flying cars, the oil companies could get away with murder.
And then there are the effects of Globalization. You see, different cultures have been progressing on different levels, like classes in a high school. Some cultures were in the honors class, even skipping grades and running far ahead like Doogie Howser. While other cultures, frankly, were in the Sweathogs, like Vinnie Barbarino. But what Globalization does is put everybody in one big classroom – probably a lecture hall with a crappy sound system so nobody in the back can hear the instructor. And everybody’s unhappy, the honors students, the slow students, and somehow Screech has become Student Body President!
All things considered, it’s a wonder we’ve gotten as far into the 21st Century without disasters like… uh… wait a minute, are there any disasters we haven’t had since 2000?
