December 1, 2006

I almost missed it… still 8 hours left here in Californium, so the site will clash garishly until tomorrow morning with a bright red background. And if YOU missed it… I’ll make a screengrab for you. But this does not have anything to do with anybody else’s “Wear Red on Friday” campaign, about which I am not at all as hostile as the author of the link, but rather mildly annoyed at how hard it is to make a non-politicized statement.

I am surprised I had never noticed Jürgen Horn’s Random-Good-Stuff blog before. I am more than a little impressed with the volume of I-haven’t-seen-this-before content, the good mix of stuff-to-buy and stuff-for-free and the sharp design (this is the way a fully-monetized blog should look). And I’m a sucker for names with those double dots* over a vowel – just ask Lore Sjöberg. And Björk. And when he moved from Berlin to Ireland, he started blogging about his new home. Which is exactly what I intended to do when I moved to San Luis Obispo, CA a year ago. (I didn’t even notice my first anniversary here because the weather in October/November was so much warmer than last year when I was home-hunting, it didn’t feel like a full year. But I digress.) My jealousy of this blogger is almost limitless. I’ll bet he even gets free drinks in Irish pubs by doing an impression of Dieter of ‘Sprockets’. (Okay, I’ve insulted both countries; my work as an American is done. But I digress.)

Anyway, part of his blog business model is to get freebies from makers of Random-Good-Stuff and turn around and give them to other bloggers who link to him. Brilliant! I really don’t have a need for a telephone screencleaner for my 1982 model cellular brick and would rather have the HappyFish design than the PornKing. But hey, I’m game for anything right now, and “telephone screencleaner” reminds me of the Telephone Sanitizer people who got stuck on the “B-Ark” in one of Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhiker” books and that makes me laugh.

And as long as I am link whoring for merchandise, I should mention the lovely and talented rstevens (that’s rstevens) and his awesome webcomic-soon-to-be-newspapercomic at dieselsweeties.com (that’s dieselsweeties.com) and his star character clango (that’s clango) (and Indy Rock Pete and Lil Sis and Canadian Charles and Nipples the Bear although they’re not official search terms for this promotion) and his well-named Secret Satan competiton for semi-valuable prizes for the nicest and naughtiest blog entries about rstevens and dieselsweeties.com and clango. I had previously communicated with him via my comicblog FunnyPaperless.com, back when it was ClownsAround.com and I really should notify him of the name change. In fact, this paragraph should be on FunnyPaperless.com, but I’ll just lazily cut and paste it later. I have a number of thoughts about the anagram Santa = Satan, but I’ll save them for a later blog post. And I am seriously considering stealing his idea to promote my dysfunctional network of sites, but I have to figure out what I can offer as prizes that wouldn’t be very very crappy.

* I know they’re called diaeresis, but that’s way too similar to diarrhea for my taste.

I don’t usually bother with the latest Stupid Administration Tricks circulating the blogosphere, but this one is just too much fun…

“The federal government’s “no sex without marriage” message isn’t just for kids anymore. Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs.”

Think about it… the Age of Consent raised to 30.

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Oddly appropriate that the winner of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award is a book titled “Twentysomething”.

This week was Jaleel “Urkel” White’s 30th birthday. I think they’ve found their poster boy.

Does that mean Paris Hilton has to extend her “chastity pledge” a little longer?

If they can use 25-year-old victims, NBC can air “To Catch a Predator” three-times daily.

28 years after the first “Garfield” comic, they’ve finally given Jon a girlfriend and it’s still too soon…

Half of the teenagers on “The O.C.” and “One Tree Hill” look like they’re 30 anyway…

So they’re saying “wait until you’re 30″ at the same time somebody started marketing a condom you can put on in one second.

Suddenly that ’60s slogan “Don’t Trust Anyone Over 30″ has new meaning.

Ceiling Cat is going to die of old age up there!

Wait until you’re 30? I know couples who can’t wait until they’ve stopped the car…

By the time people are allowed to have sex, they’ll have forgotten why…

It doesn’t affect me, I’m long past any Age of Consent. I’m past the Age of Constraint. I’m past the Age of Concession. I’m past the Age of Consolation. I’m past the Age of Consciousness!

When I think back to my sex life in my 20′s, I didn’t realize how good a Republican I was.

I don’t need an “abstinence program” when even my blog comments tell me they have a headache.

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Whew. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do 14 punchlines in one night. Was that as good for you as it was for me?