• Is A Part Of
  • made technically possible (but still unlikely) by and and
  • Weccommended…

       
           
  • I Never Meta Meta…

September 14, 2006

Would You Like That Cat With Bacon?

I have been a fan of O.B.* John Scalzi since the 1900s (I am SHOCKED that his ‘Scalzi’s Best of the Millennium’ has disappeared from the web), and marvel at his ability not just to keep up a several-posts-and-several-hundred-words-a-day-blog at his own site, the wish-I’d-thought-of-it-first-titled “Whatever”, AND an almost-equally-content-rich but much-more-lamely-named blog for the Corporate Masters at AOL (intended to show users of AOL’s blogging tools how it should be done) but also his moderately incredible ability to create a World Class Internet Meme once a year.

Last year at this time, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, he wrote a serious think piece, “Being Poor”, that got the whole blogosphere talking. This year, he taped bacon to his cat.

He also writes books, including the non-fiction “Rough Guide to the Universe” and  “Book of the Dumb” (he’s into BIG topics – the Millennium, the Universe, the DUMB) and the science fiction “Agent to the Stars” (my favorite Alien In Hollywood novel) and “Old Man’s War” (which almost got me kicked out of my 80-year-old-father’s apartment when he caught me reading it… “Old Man’s WHAT?”). Also a sequel to OMW, “The Ghost Brigades” which I am ashamed to say is glaring at me from my bookcase because I haven’t read it yet. And he is about to unleash a book full of advice to us mere mortal writers titled You’re Not Fooling Anyone When You Take Your Laptop to a Coffee Shop. Yes sir.

Truly deserving to be one of my Top Several Internet Idols**, if for nothing else, taking the truly tiresome web cliche of “putting pictures of your cat on your blog” and adding BACON!

* Original Blogstah, further explained in my new Weference page, “The Wendell-to-English Dictionary”

** a topic that will receive its own Weference page real soon.

AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...

Tom Swifter Than Ever

When I participated in the legendary MetaFilter Tom Swifties thread, I tried to come up with some variations on the theme, my favorite of which were what I called Tom SwifTVs:

“I love the TV show where they re-design rooms,” Tom said decorously.
“I love the TV show where they voted away the comics’,” Tom said standoffishly.
“I love the TV show with the remorseful vampire,” Tom said bloodlessly.
“I love the TV show with the gay guy and the straight gal,” Tom said willfully and gracefully.

By my definition (and I am he guy who gets to define this), a Tom SwifTV is a Swifty that starts with “I love the TV show…” or “I hate the TV show…” (or maybe “I watched…” or “I missed…”?)

Examples? You asked for it!

“I love the TV show with Steve Carrell,” Tom said officially.

“I love the show with the housewives,” Tom cried out desperately.

“I love Aaron Sorkin’s new show,” Tom said studiously.

“I hate Ted Danson’s new show,” Tom said helplessly.

“I loved Ted Danson’s old show,” Tom said cheerily.

“I love that show where they solve the really old mysteries,” Tom said coldly.

“I hate those CSI shows,” Tom said, making a scene.

“I love that Adult Swim show with the brothers,” Tom ventured.

“I love the game show with the women holding the cases with money in them,” Tom said briefly. (not really)

“I missed the TV show with John Ritter’s son,” Tom said classlessly.

“I might like the show on the island,” Tom uttered lost in thought.

“I’ve never seen Carlos Mencia’s show,” Tom said mindlessly.

“I’ve watched every episode of Bob Barker’s game show,” Tom said righteously.
(Okay, maybe I’m drifting away from the strict Tom SwifTV format…)

“I can’t wait for my favorite soap opera,” Tom said restlessly.

“Is that show with the guy with the karma list on yet?” Tom asked, early.

“I’m partial to ‘Two and a Half Men,” Tom said.

“I hate that show about Chris Rock’s childhood,” Tom said redundantly.

“Is “24″ on tonight? Tom asked daily.

“I’ve missed all 5 seasons of “24″,” Tom said weakly.

“Is Carson (not Johnny) on tonight?” Tom asked daily.

Uh…

Hello…?

Is anybody there?

Has everybody walked out on my blog?

Will you come back if I promise never to blog of this again?