Nothing to see here. Move along.

2009
Feb
1

Old Twits Never Die (Unfortunately)

fritterlogo
(but seriously, I am catching up… September 2008…)

“1 in 7 U.S. Adults are Illiterate” But is the ratio for people on Twitter higher or lower?

“How do we make money? Volume!” TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!

My CA Drivers License number has four 6’s, three of them in a row. Driver’s License Poker anyone? Even more, it used to freak out cashiers who asked for a second ID. (The Number of the Beast!!!) Sigh, Nobody asks for a second ID anymore. Once I tried to talk my way out of a speeding ticket by pointing out my DL# and telling the Highway Patroler I ws authorized to “drive like the Devil”. Didn’t work. REALLY didn’t work. That’s why I only tried it once.

(responding to @guykawasaki who had commented he prefered to deal with people “in their right mind”) Those NOT in their right mind are an important and influential market segment, especially on the Web. Think about it.

I think @wigu got the New Month Names thing down perfectly in this comic and the blog post following it. Crazuary! Pretenber! Blogust! It’s always Blogust for me…

I retweeted @malki for Absolute Truth: “Wonder if the people who assign undue significance to names (“Obama = Osama!”) realize that their guy bears the mark of Cain”

People yelling “Hey, PC!” to John @hodgman is like a fat guy from a Gym commercial getting a shoutout of “Hey, Before!”

Darth Maul Duck is funny, but what did Goofy do to deserve getting Jar Jarred? What’s next, Winnie the Hutt? The Lion Emperor Palpatine? Scrooge McGreedo? Beauty and the Wookiee?

They’ve also done Star Wars Muppets, and Fozzie makes a good Wookiee. “Fozzie” sounds like the name of a Wookiee.

Nanny State? I think of the current Ruling Class (as of September 2008) more as a Ninny State. Or a State that needs a Nanny. If anybody deserves to have the annoying ladies from “Nanny 911” nagging him, it’s GWB. (Next best thing to prosecuting him for war crimes)

High-speed Internet? Woot.com just emailed me the tracking number for the last thing I bought from them – that was delivered 5 days ago.

Growing up in a Nuclear Family, I always thought it was named that way because of the radiation poisoning and frequent meltdowns.

The Fall TV Season officially starts Monday with the premiere of “How I Went Dancing With 2-and-Half Legal Heroes at the Boston Big Bang”.

MadMattic has acquired Intense Debate? I predict Intense Pressure to put threaded comments on my WordPress blogs. But I LIKE MeFi-type simple comments! Besides, a fancy-pants commenting system only reminds me that (almost) nobody comments on my blogs.

One of @loresjoberg’s Twitter Challenges was to substitute Mothra for Mother… I responded like a crazy mothrafrakker…
Surrogate Mothras…
The Mothra Lode…
Mothras Against Drunk Driving…
Jewish Mothras…
Mothra of Pearl…
Old Mothra Hubbard…
Mothra Goose!
“You don’t fool Mothra Nature”…
Wicked Step-Mothra…
Mothra’s milk…
How I Met Your Mothra…
My Mothra the Car…
“Get these mothra-frakking snakes…”
Unwed Mothra…
the Sly Stallone movie: “Stop or My Mothra Will Shoot!”
@sordideuphemism and others started “Yo Mothra” jokes. I shut them down with “Yo Mothra is so fat, to take her picture, I need two Gameras.”
“The term ‘working mothra’ is redundant”
Remember the old Dr. Hook song “Sylvia’s Mothra”? Well, I do.
Maybe it was a bit of a stretch, but The Smothras Brothras…
Necessity is the Mothra of Invention? I thought it was Frank Zappa
England’s Queen Mothra…
@TarotByArwen beat me to “A duck may be somebody’s mothra”, which, considering how I played the grooves off Homer & Jethro’s “Crazy Mixed-Up Song” was an embarrassment…
Twitter’s @biz didn’t get the MetaJoke… He thought it was all “Your Mothra”, but it was so much more… it was the Mothra of All TwitterMemes!!!
Finally: I have a note that says “Please excuse Wendell from Twitter for the next 24 hours. Signed, Wendell’s Mothra”

I’ve never felt smarter.

This would be a perfect time for the phishers to send emails about troubled banks… now if only they learned how to spell.

Some Spamster has hit me where I live, with a one-word subject line that no Tick fan can ignore: SUBJECT: SPOON!!!

First sign of Autumn: the fog rolls in on Pismo Beach and refuses to leave. No wonder Bugs Bunny had so much trouble finding the place.

Is it still Fog if it hovers fifty feet above the ground at the beach and meets the ground halfway up the hills?

The guy who fixed my terribly leaky faucet (on ER they’d call it ‘bleeding out’) owns his plumbing business and still lost his house to the credit crunch 6 months ago. He was incredibly philosophical about getting hurt just before the bailouts started getting handed out. Just when I get overly-proud of my attitude I meet somebody who’s better at coping with the crap than I am by X*Y-fold. Wow. He was actually more bothered by the fact that the new Price Pfister faucet came with very cheap washers. Reminded me that not all plumbers are jerks like “Joe”.

TwitterPoll: Do online polls have ANY tiny amount of credibility?
TwitterPoll: Is the greatest value of Online Polls their ability to inspire Monty Python-inspired silliness?
TwitterPoll: Which inspire more masturbation, Online Porn or Online Polls?
TwitterPoll: Is Wendell a tool, an asshat or a mere public annoyance?
TwitterPoll: Is a TwitterPoll about online polls totally Meta, totally redundant or totally redundant?

Why is Martin Sheen in my apartment yelling “Break over!”?!?

You don’t drown your sorrows in cake (or pie). You smother them (or as the TwitterMeme goes, you smothra them).

The prefect thing to preface Bush’s Address to the Nation on the Economy in September…

That fish-shaped Jesus logo? Make that “phish”.
I Got a phishy email today, supposedly from Capital One Bank, but the “click here” link went to: http://www.familyencounter.org/www.capitalone.com/index.html
familyencounter.org’s regular site “is a ministry dedicated to helping families be attentive to God and to family members.”
It reminded me how easily (but often ineffectively) Evil disguises itself as Good.

AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...