"Snakes on a Game"


snakeeater.jpgSometimes I really need somebody else to remind me that I AM A WINNER!!! In this case, it’s that Edge Curve Caption Game where I have been awarded the Grandiose Prize and a few bucks to spend at Amazon for the follwing caption to the picture on the left:

I don’t know what happened, but there’s a guy in the next studio trying to charm a pack of cigarettes.

I am most pleasantly surprised, especially since I had more trouble than usual getting the wording right to express the funny idea (and when that happens, the result always seems less funny than when I just let the funny flow)

As always, I had submitted several ideas, a couple of which made “Honorable Mention” status:

Finally, payback for all my pet mice…

Don’t you recognize the universal symbol for “bat-s#!t crazy”?

And several of which were not…

Few people knew that Gary Larson had used live models for many of his Far Side cartoons.

Well, Harry, the good news is… you don’t have tapeworms…

That is the second-worst Cthulhu impression I’ve ever seen!

I’m sorry sir, but the rules clearly state that, no matter how you carry them, you aren’t allowed to have props your American Idol audition.

Just another crummy day at Airport Security…

Wasn’t he supposed to stuff them all into his SHIRT?

Don’t tell me… let me guess… tastes like chicken?

That’s what happens when you don’t quit telling those dumb “Snakes on a Plane” jokes…

If this doesn’t make me a shoe-in to replace Ted Haggard at the Christian Coalition, I don’t know what will.

Oddly, when I started to prepare this blog post and was thinking of a title, I thought of a few more that neither I nor the runner-up (“Projectile reptile vomiting?”) nor the 60 other “Honorable Mentions” had come up with:
Worst case of reptile misfunction I’ve ever seen.
The former soccer player insisted on a no-hands approach to his new job as snake handler.
Nigel’s “Badger badger badger” dance was most notable for what he did when the song got to “Snake!”

I also thought of “That’s NOT what we mean by snakebite,” but assumed that everybody would enter it; surprisingly, the judges noted that “Do I have anything in my teeth?” was the most common entry. Other people’s entries I wish I had said: “Outrageous new appetizers at TGIFriday’s go too far.” (Giovanna Kranenberg) “Could be a tapeworm, Dr. Foreman, run an MRI and get Cameron to do a lumbar puncture.” (Rick ‘House’ Wainright) “Medusa’s boyfriend was quite romantic, but he had a funny hat.” (Dave Mattingly) “Uncle Ronald finally learned not to try and eat the whole can of peanut brittle at once.” (Ryan Knapper) And best use of the inevitable phrase: “Damned in-flight meals. Who ever heard of snakes on a plane?” (David Franks)

But the most important thing is I WON and I WHOOPED jeff green (who thinks that he can be as cool as jason kottke by using all lower case). The next contest is up, and it really goes to the dogs…

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