"A Visit From St. Business"

2008
Dec
23

For many of us, right now the biggest gift we’ve gotten from our workplace is the fact that we still have jobs, but still, the last few work-hours before the holiday are semi-tortuous (especially at places you have to come in at least a half-day on Christmas Ever). For you, I republish this old chestnut-roasting:

‘Twas the day before Christmas, and down here at work
Not a creature was stirring, not even a clerk;

Christmas cards hung in the lobby in bunches,
And in the lunch room where we rarely ate lunches;

The executives nestled all behind closed doors,
While visions of year-end they tried to ignore;

And I with my Accountant’s green eyeshade half-kilter,
Had just gone online to check out MetaFilter,

When up from the warehouse there arose such a din,
I thought Shipping had collided with Receiving again.

Away from the window that my office lacked,
Past the Founder’s portrait that covered a crack,

I bolted downstairs with a stride never broken
Past the No Smoking sign where the smokers were smokin’,

And, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Were all of the vendors we’d bought from this year,

With one out in front, so gnome-like and short,
I knew he had to be our IT support.

More numerous than tribbles, their small gifts they came,
And all of them marked with their company’s names;

On pens and on pencils, on mugs and on mousepads!
On business card holders and various doo-dads!

On datebooks and calendars, both desk and wall,
And they didn’t stop ’til they’d distributed all.

They spoke nary a word, but worked on like dogs,
Covering Purchasing’s desks with their new catalogs,

And once everything they had brought was delivered,
They turned toward the door like the flow of a river;

I asked one why they would be leaving so soon,
He just said “12 more offices to hit before noon”;

But I heard them exclaim, as they left in a huff,
“Merry Christmas to all, and please buy our stuff.”

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...