"Random Acts of Twitterage #Brazillian"


I’m currently thankful that I haven’t automatically put my tweets in the blog for two reasons. #1: 75% are personal boring stuff or one side of a mini-conversation. #2: It gives me some content when I’m otherwise at a loss for blahblahblah… So, here we go again, back to July when I twittereported that I had “spent the 40 bucks (for 2 years minimum) to register wendell.me … my most vain vanity domain name EVAH! It’s like a vanity license plate on the Information Superhighway.”

My proposals for “twitter terminolgy”: “twinkies” “twizzlers” “twists” “twain” “twirl” “twaddle” and of course “twit”. And especially “twerps”: A sub-demographic full of (regretable) opinion leaders.

When someone says Burgess Meredith, you don’t know if they’re talking about Rocky’s Coach, Steinbeck’s George, Batman’s Penguin or the guy with the glasses in Twilight Zone…

Doesn’t sound right: “zefrank is the CREATOR of zefrank.com” But even worse: “somebodyelse is the CREATOR of The Bob Newhart Show”

Maybe I need to catch up with Mobile Devices and such, but a “lost internet” twitter just seems weird to me. Like “Marie just called to say all the phones are out”… “She drove over here to tell me the roads are out”…

Kitchen bugs got into my pantry packages of fettuccine and rotini but not the elbow macaroni. Am I dealing with snobbish insects?

My personal (non-gmail) emailbox was filled with 180 bounce messages: some spamster apparently spoofed my address for messages titled “Nude Angelina Jolie”. And I haven’t even seen Angelina Jolie naked (and I’d remember if it was in person… in a movie scene not so much)

Rodney Dangerfield would’ve RULED on Twitter… “Take My Wife Please!” … way under 140 characters

EPIC MEME apparently started on Twitter. Twitsearch for “EPIC” adds a half dozen new tweets every 30 seconds, most of which are following the meme.
Your Ocean Liner is leaking, so grab a bucket… EPIC BAIL!
Hailstones the size of basketballs? (do I even need to say it?) EPIC HAIL
Why does remembering the EPIC record label make me feel old?
The largest crowd ever at one of Hitler’s speeches: EPIC HEIL! (did I just Godwin this meme?)
And don’t forget the dude with the UFO/cloning cult: EPIC RAEL!
If we can go off-rhyme, Mr. Lovett is an EPIC LYLE!
Not my idea, but one of the best of the meme: “Large intestine: EPIC ENTRAIL.”
Mrs. Roy Rogers: EPIC DALE!
290-car train off the tracks: EPIC DERAIL. (this whole meme is kind of an EPIC DERAIL for twitter)
This meme is overloading twitter, thus making it a self-fulfilling EPIC FAIL WHALE
The beginning of this now-overwhelming “EPIC *AIL” meme: EPOCH FAIL!
I must credit @ladycrumpet for: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer: EPIC IMPALE”
Okay folks, EPIC (Dan) QUAYLE, EPIC (Christian) BALE and EPIC MIKAEL (Gorbachev) have been beaten into submission. Move on.
There are hundreds of twitterers “off our meds” today, and it’s an “EPIC REGALE” (though even I must admit it’s getting “EPIC STALE”)
“EPIC BETRAYAL” for the semi-win.
Best curmudgeonly response from @nostrich” “Yes, I am ‘just homophoning it in’.”
But I don’t want to hear about anybody’s EPIC TRAVAIL right now…
Okay, no more EPIC (Crystal) GAYLE either. Please.
reply to @middleclasstool You, who named your baby “littleclasstool” are complaining about puns? What a DYSPEPTIC WAIL.
Stuttering variation: Losing 2000 photos from memory when your digital camera goes bad: EPIC PIC FAIL.
Now people are suggesting we counter with “EPIC SUCCEED”s… that should be EPIC WIN, like the guy who plays Locke on ‘Lost’: EPIC O’QUINN
Schwartzenneger & Devito: EPIC TWINS. Opposite of extreme Yang: EPIC YIN. Classic comic by Herge: EPIC TINTIN.
Bill O’Reilly: EPIC SPIN. Family reunion where 500 people show up: EPIC KIN. “Ghosts Vol.1-4”: EPIC NIN. 20-digit bank password: EPIC PIN.
or… almost as trigonometrically awesome as an Epic Tangent: EPIC COSIN.
Goes with Awesome Tonic: EPIC GIN. What got humans kicked out of Eden: EPIC SIN.
Apparently @dooce has declared that it should be “FOR THE *IN” instead of “EPIC *IN”, and who am I to argue with an Internet Legend?
But twitsearching for “FOR THE” brings up a lot more false positives than “EPIC”
And Mickey Mouse is “FOR THE MIN”
People who chew Doublemint Gum because of the commercials are “FOR THE TWINS”
The cult followers of a particular Nickelodeon cartoon are “FOR THE ZIM”

My adopted hometown has been named one of the “Best Places You’ve Never Heard Of”. Please don’t tell.

“Cankle” sounds like it should be a snack food… instead, it’s a result of eating snack foods.

I unmade a phone survey guy’s day by telling him while I watch some local TV news almost daily, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the anchors.

The Web is all about Everybody Getting Published and Nobody Getting Paid (which dovetails perfectly with my writing career).

I’m very pro-union for creatives. I had a bad experience with AFTRA (the weak link in the current Hollywood labor disputes) over 30 years ago. When I was a radio ‘sidekick’ at an AFTRA shop, they worked very hard to make sure I was NOT paid as a ‘creative’. So I went looking for radio work in the outskirts, promoting myself as “Los Angeles Radio’s Most Underpaid Personality”.

Has Neil Patrick Harris ever played a character that DIDN’T blog?

I’ve been notified of my latest follower: “porn_website is now following your updates on Twitter” Aw come on, at least try to put in a little effort!

I might trust AMC more doing a “Prisoner” remake than most media entities… first of all, it’s a *6* part miniseries…

Merlin Mann proves that there is a fine line between “Getting Things Done” and “Git Er Done”, by crossing it repeatedly.

I think I know where all the bees from all over the country went. They are ALL hovering around the dumpster behind my apartment.

Stomach cramps happening simultaneously with leg cramps is what I call a Worst Case Scenario.

Potting soil is a lot more than dirt (I worked briefly in Accounts Payable for a company who made it; I know what’s in there an how much the company paid for it).

I can’t say much about the new pr0n version of Portal, except: The Bukakke Is a Lie.

The Killer Twitter App would fetch all the tweets of your followees since you last logged in AND PUT THEM IN FORWARD CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER for a quick scan-thru.

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