"Random Acts of Twitterage #AGAIN?"


Discovered a secret stash of old Twitter posts of mine that I thought were totally deleted. I could blog nothing but my better Twitter-based content from the last six months for some time, but I promise I’ll finish that post about In-N-Out Burger BEFORE it shows up again…


I’ve seen statistics that show that the “death tax” is a greater deterrent to killing your parents than the “death penalty”.

Wendell’s Lifestyle Law #1
If living well is the best revenge, then don’t get even, get better.

Incomplete Headline: “Obama Says He Won’t Question Others’ Patriotism”… But If He Did, He’d Deport Rush Limbaugh to Dittostan.

Wendell’s Addendum to a Common Cliche: “In life, you must either lead, follow, get out of the way or intentionally get in the way”.

To @pvponline: I LOVE LOLBAT! To be totally Internet, he must fight villains like The Spammer, The Troll and Pr0nWoman.

I’m sorry, but “Department of Corrections” sounds like the people who fix errors in newspaper stories, not the people who run prisons.

I tried the veal. Not good. Tasted like chicken; expected more from tortured baby cows.

My suggestion to @rstevens on how to end the Diesel Sweeties newspaper comic:
Steal from The Twilight Zone: Red Robot kills everyone, says ‘now I can spend my time reading (comics?)’ and his eyes fall off.

“Putin on the Ritz”? It’s a put-on on the fritz. (But DAMN that site does a masterful job of putting celebrities’ heads on other people’s bodies…)

“World land speed record (for steam locomotives)… the giddy speed of 126mph” That’s still a giddy land speed for me in any vehicle.

Fox News VP quoted saying “We do better television than anybody else.” Notice he never used the word NEWS. Why should he?

PREDICTION: California will be the first state where marrying your coffee is legalized (unless Starbucks lobbyists move fast in Washington). Of course, the Mormons will campaign for its repeal.

Jesse Helms outlived Jesse Owens by 28 years. Only the good die young(er).

I thought hypocrisy was all about hiding it. Unhidden hypocrisy is just inconsistency.

That sounds “marginally” less safe than shoving an entire Red Devil Fireworks Assortment down your pants and lighting it. (because, you know, Red Devil Fireworks are “safe and sane”, which always neutered the whole fireworks experience for me)

Are you reelin’ in the years? Just don’t wanna do no dirty work? Or just time out of mind?

I’m not a Xenophobe, just a Xeniphobe. (And now, your moment of Xeni…)

NEW WORD – Podcrastinate: To take your own sweet time turning your blog into a multi-media monstrosity.

Rough night. Then woke with strange feeling in chest… right under where I’d left my inhaler in my t-shirt pocket… nevermind.

Too many of the tweets from people I follow are replies to people I am not. The web equivalent of hearing one side of a phone conversation.

Back in L.A. I once had a phone number that spelled out PUNSPEN. Yet, I did very little writing while at that location…

Bumbleberry sounds like it contains parts of the bees that fertilized the plant… but it still sounds better than Marionberry

Maybe I’m just missing the mobile-device-access possibilities, but it just seems weird to see somebody twitter: “Why aren’t you online?”

Clean new sheets on Saturday Night make me feel so good I forget how little I’m doing to dirty them.

“Studies show” any damn thing you could want them to show. This based on a study by the Institute for the Study of Studies.

And “think tanks” are well known for drowning any thinker that doesn’t think like the rest of the tank.

You should never inquire “Who?” of any actor to play The Doctor on “Doctor Who”. Neither should you ask “Which Doctor?”

A classic difficult moment in law enforcement happened in Atascadero, CA. Suspect IN HANDCUFFS steals police car; escapes; later found hiding “in back seat of his mother’s car”. There’s one Sheriff’s Deputy in Northern SLO County who is going to be the brunt of jokes for a while…

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