"Lawn Odor"


Another blogger was trying to come up with inspirations for spin-offs to keep the “Law and Order” franchise alive. Now, whether or not you consider that a worthy endeavor, he was doing it wrong, going mostly with geographic-location-based concepts (Scranton, Hooterville, Battle Creek, Pleasantville), and while the next L&O will be set in London and titled “Law and Order: UK”, it’s really “CSI” that has cornered the market on locales.

What the L&O needs is ideas like one I proposed some time ago, about a crime team stationed in a Ford Explorer: “Law & Order: SUV”. Sadly, they mangled the idea (or at least the order of the initials) and I asked to have my name taken off the project.

Considering how important Jerry Orbach was to the original series, what they need now is “Law & Order: The Broadway Musical”. Just keep Steven Bochco away from it, he already screwed up the idea with “Cop Rock”. Unfortunately, half of Broadway is now owned by Disney, which also owns ABC, not NBC.

With so much blood flowing from Wall Street, “Law and Order: CNBC” should be a natural. Or even better, “Law & Order: NASDAQ” with the weekly “who killed the high tech startup?” They’ll never run out of stories. But considering what NBC needs most to save the network: “Law & Order: Cosby” (but again, keep the producers of “The Cosby Mysteries” far far away).

Based on the “broken windows” crime prevention policies in NYC today, there should be “Law & Order: Extremely Petty Crimes Unit”. Which, come to think of it, might double as “Law & Order: Seinfeld”, the crime procedural about nothing.

If they insist on continuing to emphasize ‘stories ripped from the headlines’, then they need two spin-offs: “Law & Order: NY Times” & “Law & Order: NY Post” (each targeting a different demographic, obviously).

If that hasn’t alienated everybody, there is one more L&O variation they could do without leaving New York: “Law & Order: WTC”, the serialized story of investigators who are STILL trying to figure out what the f*** happened on 9/11. Transfer Detective Munch to that show and it’ll run forever.

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