"RStevens > Wendell > Maureen Dowd"

2009
May
20

I am better than Maureen Dowd because when I steal someone else’s good lines, I give them full credit, as I am doing now with rstevens’ string of recent un-sequiturish LOL Twitterings. R being, in case you didn’t know, the Evil Genius behind the Webcomic Diesel Sweeties, who is celebrating the 7th Android-Versary of being a full-time professional webcomicker (wow) by having a sale on his dangerously adorable “pixel socks” and dropping the add-on-shipping cost to the U.S. and Canada on everything. Where else can you get a Plush Killer Robot?!? He is an extremely cool person and will forgive me for repurposing his intellectual property in exchange for this big honking commercial I just gave him.

Anyway, rstevens recently Tweeted…

“The government declared me too legit to quit, so I applied for a leave of absence instead.”

“Are Free Masons Open Source?”

“”I’m not unemployed, I’m NSFW.” #breadlinetwopointoh”

“Sometimes you’re the soap, sometimes you’re the lather.”

“I just figured out why there are no bathrooms on the Enterprise. They don’t rematerialize your pee after transport.”

“I wonder if anyone sells boxers that say “POP UP BLOCKER ENABLED”?”

“What if Mr. T stood for “Mr. Tits” all along?”

“Signed up for the Dalek Corps. Last night. Should have my plunger in 4-6 weeks and my insane paranoia as soon as I install the disk.”

“I ate an amaizeing amount of corn yesterday.”

“I have anger delegation issues.”

“The impact vest held but the jet pack needs some work. Wonder if I’ll be reported as a UFO?”

“Once you go Spock, you don’t go back. For seven years. #ponfarrposse”

“That road leads to madness. Better yet, there’s no speed limit! ”

“Jesus saves. Satan will make you a backup- for a price.”

“All the young nuns applied for my missionary position.”

I am never going to top that. I quit. And I’m not too legit to do that.

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...