"Thomp Jackson is So Defrocked II"

2008
Sep
29

The Disbarments continue
LOTS more inside…

Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even summon Beetlejuice. (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can only read John Grisham novels while supervised by an officer of the court. (KJToo)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, kids won’t trick-or-treat at his house. (Evanrh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, gavels are looking for work. (aaronhodes)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, Hershey refuses to sell him candy (I get the ‘bars’, but even the kisses? ESPECIALLY the kisses) (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even settle down. (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he couldn’t to protect a window in South Central. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, his part in L.A. Law was completely redacted. (blob)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even serve me a cocktail. (potch)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he’s gotta shower with a bodywash. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even take a beginner’s ballet class. (pastorsaturn)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that his friends won’t even break him off a piece of their Kit Kat. (indigokelliegh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, nobody can take his picture because he’s not allowed ‘in camera’. (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he couldn’t subpoena colada! (ghowley – I love this one, I don’tcare who knows)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he has to use stretch mode to watch 4:3 content on his HDTV. (blob – from here on the “bar” pun variations start getting a bit too much for even ME)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred they can’t let him on a roller coaster.(Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he has to ride a unicycle. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, Newton’s Laws no longer apply to him(lantius)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even get cellular signal from AT&T. (darkeye11547)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even hear testimony in a Southern Baptist Megachurch. (indigokelleigh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he’s only allowed at bat mitzvahs. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred the rebar in his home is just “re”. (LT2099)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he’s only permitted to use pie charts. (pastorsaturn)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, they had to rename the British American Racing F1 team to just Honda Racing.(blob – that’s a stretch, even for a blob)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he’s practically jazz. (LT2099 – kinda music nerdy, but I LIKE it)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t know de position of de plane, de plane! oh shiiit it’s the seventies!(lantius – can’t figure this one out, but it seems a heroic effort)
Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy couldn’t because he was Jack Thompson, who is so disbarred. (Volcanicast – all references to drinking bars after this will be considered dupes and omitted)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t go up the Maine coast past Blue Hill Bay. (romulusnr)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, a file baked into a cake does him no good at all. (blob)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he’s only allowed at FOOcamp. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that schoolkids mistake him for Jamaican Shakespeare. (LT2099)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he thinks the Simpsons are a family of 4 (~eh).(Envarh – original poster did the “~eh”, I can only agree)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t use metasyntactic elements in his code. (blob)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, the galaxy they named after him turned into a normal spiral. Okay, I’m embarrassed at that one. (Volcanist – and you should be)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he has to just swing on monkeys. (LT2099)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even use the Phoenix Wright Objection! Generator (lantius – I can’t object to that)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that his candy options are limited to M&Ms and Rolos. (jimmyrabbitte – all references to candy bars after this will be considered dupes and omitted)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred the EU forbids him from writing Danish or Norwegian (Ø, Snåpp!) (Envarh)
()
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, Chewbacca makes sense. (blob)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that he can only participate in floor exercises. (jimmyrabbitte)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that his favorite 80s band is “Dege” (with lead singer El Dege)(jimmyrabbitte – fixedit for you)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that when he got mononucleosis it was just the Epstein Virus. (Envarh)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he has to write music in (length of song)/4 time (blob)
(I can’t believe nobody’s done this yet…) Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even write on legal pads. (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even court disaster. (wendlldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he has to cut his own hair. (romulusnr – so disbarbered?)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even practice the law of gravity. (loresjoberg)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t buy anything with a UPC on it. (wendellotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even file a motion on the laws of motion.(indigokelleigh)
Has anybody done “Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even file his nails” yet? (wendelldotme)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that Punny Jersey Shakespeare has filed a trademark infringement suit ovah heah. (AmbrosiaVoyeur)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred that he’s not allowed to imitat the Law & Order “DONK DONK!” noise.(hemlock_martini)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even play contract bridge. (loresjoberg)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he has to stay out of the woods in Kingdom of Loathing. (romulusnr)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, his porn magazines are just called “Barely.” (loresjoberg)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t even use legal tender. (loresjoberg)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t contract the flu. (MackJ)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can only watch the first half of SVU. (potch)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can’t eat chicken tenders? (kuraiou – “?” is from original poster, but I don’t get it either)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even contract a cold. (LizzComstock – meet MackJ)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can’t even play basketball because it’s on a court!(TarotByArwen)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he can no longer display his plumage to a potential mate. (fluffy)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred he can only call it Wilkes, PA. (britain)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he cant lower the bar any further (jpsherman)
Jack Thompson is so disbarred, he could succeed at limbo while riding on Andre the Giant’s shoulders. (fluffy – limbo with no bar? how low can we go?)
Jack Thompson’s so disbarred he can’t even play a lawyer on Lifetime TV.
(clover)

And yet there is still more to come! How much disbarring can one man stand?

1 Comment (so far) about

"Thomp Jackson is So Defrocked II"

  1. Jack So Disbarred Thompson 3: the wreckening by Wendell.Me. Says:

    […] Thomp Jackson is So Defrocked II […]

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