"It’s A Breath Mint AND a Franklin Mint"

2009
Apr
29

I was still yaddayaddayadding over the proliferation of features on phones (I’m still not quite about the camera feature, even though I used it to my own advantage recently) when I saw that the Gizmodo Division of the Evil Gawker Blog Network had recently documented “10 Gadgets With Too Many Stupid Features” and I must agree with the article’s top illustration: no phone should be equipped with both a crock pot and a samurai sword. ONE OR THE OTHER.

Some of the items on the list are perfect examples of the kind of combined things that make us fearful of genetic engineering, like TV Wheel Rims and Taser/mp3 Player (in a leopard skin design to truly add insult to injury). However, I am 97.5% sure that the 85-Function Swiss Army Knife was one of Think Geeks’ annual April Fools Day products that they never remove from the catalog on April 2nd.

It took only a few minutes of websearching to dig up some other worthy additions to the list.

radiotoasterNo less a retailing legend than Hammacher Schlemmer is selling a Radio Toaster which makes a valid argument as two things you want in your kitchen, but the kitschy retro design makes it look more silly than cool.

table1table2 A one-legged table is interesting, but when it can be disassembled to become a shield and bludgeon for defending against… well, let’s just say something smaller than a bear because I don’t think it’ll be effective against bears… (and I don’t think it’d be all that good against a zombie attack, no matter what the source page claims) …come to think of it, I doubt it’s defensive value against anything larger than a rabid raccoon, but it does look cool when you’re using it!

bottlecap I know many photographers have an image as… well… let’s just say “heavy drinkers” but the Bottle Cap Tripod may be catering to it a bit much. Okay, you CAN put it on a Coke bottle or a Snapple bottle, but is that where you’d expect to see one?

ipod-toiletroll I believe we have seen iPod docks attached to almost everything… well, we have now. But the ultimate toilet-paper-combination gadget has to be the Rsstroom Reader, which prints news feeds onto your bathroom tissue (with some ingenious ways of customizing the feed). Yes, this one is a total hoax, and one of the better ones.

Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make myself breakfast, lunch and a movie snack with this Combination Egg Boiler/Hot Dog Cooker (with Bun Warmer)/Popcorn Maker. Because I can.

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