"Bad, SyFy, Bad!"


Hello, and April Fool! Yes, I used the format of an April Fool’s Day joke to give myself a 3-week hiatus from the Blog (you kinda hat do be there) and used that time to reexamine what I want to do blog-wise, prepare a couple spin-off blogs that will begin spinning in the next few weeks, work on my avoidance of a number of real life problems that I will continue to not address here, and get Twitter out of my system. Sorry, but when Oprah walks in the door, I exit through the window (it’s one of my Rules of Defenestration).

But before I return to a less popular form of normal, I must pay tribute to the people who have tried to add quality to the tweetage by way of comedy-themed hashtagging. One of the most recent was #badscifi, first suggested by Twitter/Blog/Podcast semi-star Ken Plume who primed the pump with a few examples including: “The Land That Time Mislaid”, “Planet of The Menial Task-Bots”, “The Man With A Slightly Larger Than Average Brain”, “Night Of The Muskrat” and “The Fresno Syndrome”.

With the stage set, other Twitterers chimed in with titles for bad scifi books/movies/tv shows, mostly playing off the titles of good (or at least popular) scifi.

@PeterPaega showed a solid talent for understatement with “Star Scuffles”, “Two Feet Under The Sea”, “Bladeskipper”, “ET the French for AND”, “Magistrate Dread”, “The Opaque Man”, “The Rosemary and Thyme Machine”, “Resident Evel Knievel”, “The X-Factor Men”, “Goatbusters”, “Voyage to the Bottom of the Bath”, “Geriatric Park” and “Cloverleaf”.

@ScottyMo42 did “It Came From Beneath the Sock Drawer” and quit while he was ahead, returning hours later with “TRON XP”.

@golux13 provided “Journey To The Center Of The Town”, “Star Arguments”, “The Laundromat My Destination”, “The Diplomatic Negotiation of the Worlds”, “A Boy And His Pet Rock”, “Braceletworld” and “The Androgynous Strain”.

@KenKopin contributed a widely mixed bag of bad, including “Invasion of the Large CO2 Breathing Stationary Plants”, “Krypton – Myth, or Dwarf Planet?” (which I still haven’t yet parsed), “Attack of the Underpickled Cabbage” (obviously written by a sour German), “Mars Needs Toxic Waste” (a utopian scenario), “Planet of the Cows”, “Nerf Runner” (one of the best XRunner variations), “The Penultimate Warrior”, “Jetpacks-A-Go-Go”, “Ender’s Summer Romance” (what a Card!), “Aliens Are People, Too”, “Tron: 2D”, “Star Police Actions” (extra points for the ’60s/Vietnam reference), “Matrix: BSOD”, “Extreme Makeover: Death Star” and the inevitable “Metropolis 2: Electric Boogaloo”.

@oliverhood offered “The Big Insect”, “Dystopian Future Man”, “Majority Report” and “Blade Sharpener” (maybe the best of the BladeXer variations).

@Mangowe submitted for your approval “2001 A Space Oddie” (I hope referring to Bill), “Almost Silent Running (but with annoying whirring sound)”, “The McFly”, “Alien versus the Proclaimers”, “Total Retail”, “Starship Bloopers”, “Flash Gordon Brown”, “Masters of the Unipart”, “Ma’s attacks”, “The Umpire strikes back”, “Pitch Cilla Black”, “Star Trek Enterprise scheme”, “The 6 Million Dollar Manilow”, “Bi-curious Centenniel Man”, “Donnie Osmond-Darko”, “Return from Which Mountain?”, “Rollerbade”, “Westwoodworld”, “Journey to the Garden Centre” and its sequel “Back to the Fuchsia”, “Titan A&E”, “The day of the Griffs” and “The Incredible Stinking Man” (so obvious, surprised it didn’t come up often).

@JoeCovenant did “I Was a Teenage Toddler”, “Star Disagreements”, “The Man Who Lived On Earth”, “2001: A Few Years Ago” (well, sure, NOW it is) and “Alice’s Adventures in Sunderland”.

@Rogue_Leader led us into “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Leicester Forest East Services Southbound”, “Minorrible Report”, “20,000 Leagues Under The Brie”, “A Clockwork Lemon” and “The Wrath Of Ken”.

@floraisadora put up the very eponymous “Attack of the 60ft. Floral Arrangement” as well as “The Day the Earth Caught A Mild Case of Pink Eye”.

The very appropriately-named @frak frakked us up with “The Phantom Tennis”, “Soylent Paisley”, “Journey To The Centre Of The Doughnut”, “Flash Gorgonzola” and “Invasion of The Body Conscious”.

@RockNStroll rocked out and strolled through with “Planet of the Crepes”, “Doctor When” (dangit if that isn’t a better title for the show that exists now), “Jefferson Starship Troopers” (inevitable, but eponysterical), “Robomop”, “Battlestar Scholastica”, “The Iomega Man” and “I Am Legend of Bagger Vance”.

@martinwake gave us “Noisy Running”, “Those!”, “Village of the Damp”, “Children of the Quorn” and “Janet of the Apes”.

@twinschick1 was food-centric with “The Lime Machine”, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Mixers?” and “Flour for Algernon”.

@carlmw contributed “Predator: The Wonder Years”, “War of the Wombles”, “Ghostbutlers” and “Lets Party (like its Space 1999)”.

@ncguk had quite a collection, including “It Came From Norfolk”, “Godzilla Vs The Kittens”, “War Of The Worms”, “Heckboy”, “Alien Vs Pret A Manger”, “The Empire Strikes”, “V For Vienetta”, “Invasion Of The Body Lotions”, “20,000 Leaves Under The Sea”, “Cedric The Barbarian”, “Joss Whedon’s Senility” and “Buffy The Accordian Player”.

@ESTUPIDOSAV smartly contributed “The Island of Attorney Moreau”, “Five Minutes to Earth”, “The Cat that Walked Through Doors”, “Crisis on Infinite Hearths”, “The Mommyknockers”, “Man from Atlanta”, “Jimmy Neutron Smart Ass”, “SHAMWOW! The New Adventures of Captain Marvel”, “Stargate Atlanta” (if you’ve ever been to the Atlanta airport, you’d know) and “A Connecticut Yankee in Traffic Court”.

@exlibris11235 liberated a few: “2001 Flushes: A Toilet Bowl Odyssey”, “Ender’s Sudoku”, “William Gibson and Danielle Steel Present: New Romancer” (bad scifi and so much more), “The 5-Axis CNC Milling Machine of Heaven” and “Foundation’s Cracks”.

@Widgett rang in with “Ringworm”, “The Time Machinima”, “The Minnesotan Chronicles”. “Snow Thud”, “The Contact Lens in God’s Eye”, “The Man in the High Winnebago”, “Wheatfield Earth” (and he asks “does it count if my title could be better than the original?”), “To Your Dehydrated Bodies Go” and “I Am Legume”.

@MickBordet did “Laughterhouse 5”, “The Cat’s Cradle in the Hat”, “The Realtor Dysfunction”, “Terminator: Salve Lotion” (that’s an AARRGGHH!) and “The Grey Hole”.

@unrealfred jumped in late with several good/bads: “The Forever GWAR”, “Rendezvous with Ramen Noodles”, “A Testicle for Leibowitz”, “The Silent Running of the Lambs”, “”The Man in the High White Castle”, “The Six Million Dollar Man of La Mancha”, “The Belt-Sander of Heaven”, “Oakland Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “The Moon Is a Harsh Elvira Mistress of the Dark”, “Enema Mine”, “The Rerun of the Jedi” and “The Day the Earth Stood Me Up”.

@UMadman went mad with “Night of the Cramps”, “My Stepmother is an Illigal Alien”, “Honey I Shrunk Our 401k”, “The Island of Dr. 90210”, “Men in Blackface”, “eXstendZ” and “Zardozn’t”.

@Ceri_O: “Dr Whatever!”, “Men in Pink”, “Children of the Popcorn” and “The Butterfingers Effect”.

@krud: “The Day The Earth Fidgeted” and “The Terminal Manwich”.

@perrymisley: “Conflict Resolution Among the Stars” and “Star Trek II – The Wrath of Kong”.

@gasheadsteve: “Attack of the Sloths”, “Invasion of the Saucy Men” and “Stair Trek: The Voyage Upstairs” (which was several steps above other Star/Stair puns).

@yislash: “I Have No Mouth and I Must Sing!”, “Misplaced in Space”

@Scottums: “The Day The Earth Stood In Line”, “Nightfall and it can’t get up” and “The Time Machinist starring Christian Bale”,

@GersonK: “Lost and Foundation”, “The Plant of the Apes” and “The Lathe of New Haven”.

@JoshWay: “The Day the Earth Was Unseasonably Cool”, “The Abdominal Strain” and “City on the Edge of Milwaukee”.

@semiknockedout: “The Hitchhiker’s guide to setting the VCR” and “I AM LEGENDary at Guitar Hero”.

@gtrogue: “I Am Rarely Spoken Of” and “Sluggish Gordon”.

@dylanw: “The Day The Earth Went Jogging”, “There Will Come Soft Hailstorms” and “The Time Traveller’s Periodontist”.

@hillkath: “Silent Jogging”, “Shallow Impact”, “Metrosexualopolis”, “Buck Rogers in the 12th Century” and “ET: The Extra Testicle”.

A few people came up with a single Big Bad:
“Partial Recall” (@ScotRadcliffe), “Attack of the Totally Normal Tomatoes” (@ggkthx), , “THX 1137: The Prequel” (@The_No_Show), “ET – The Extra Toilet-roll” (@pitofdarkness), “Close Encounters of the Turd Kind” (somebody had to do it and that somebody was @SomersetBob), “Bradbury’s The Martin Chronicles” (@RichterCa), “Flowers for Allergens” (@lectio), “Bill and Ted’s Bus Journey” (@sebpatrick), “Do Androgynes Dream of Elastic Slips?” (@swombat), “Sling-Blade Runner” (Billy Bob Replicant? That sounds too good) (@calittle), “Dunne” (@siatabiri), “The Man Who Fell 2 Feet” (@PaulCULLIFORD), “Star Wars: The Empire Debates the Flat Tax” (I thought that WAS one of the prequels) (@firkon)

Meanwhile, Ken Plume continued to contribute “Day Of The Truffauts”, “I Have A Mouth, And Am Quite Capable Of Screaming If I Must” (I thought that might be better as #badhorror), “This Island Guam”, “X: The Man With The 20/20 Eyes”, “Soylent Puce” (funniest of the many Soylent colors), “The Hitchhikers Guide to Peterborough”, “Neuromincer”, “The Marzipan Chronicles”, “The Moon Is A Total B****”,

Multiple minds thought alike with “I Robert”, “”Planet of the Grapes”, “Logan’s Stroll” and “Attack of the 5-to-6 Foot Woman”.

@onion2k was one of the very few to go beyond titles to a twitter-sized sci-fi story: “It’s incredible. Woven from the alien cloth we found on the crashed UFO. The wearer is invincible. We call it the Super Mankini!”

I joined in late to throw in “Fahrenheit 5: the Icehouse Worker”, “Ray Bradbury’s The Self-Published Man”, “Star Just Browsing”, “Back to the Pluperfect”, “Attack of the 50 Foot Wombat”, (taking intentionally bad scifi and making it worse) “Attack of the Killer Broccoli”, “The Day The Earth Took a Nap” and “The Truckdriver’s Guide to the Universe”.

I just hope all these Twitterers appreciate that I credited and linked to them, because I just flew in from Twitter, and @#$% are my typing fingers tired. (By the way, this post had the content of 236 Tweets… remind me to never do that again).

1 Comment (so far) about

"Bad, SyFy, Bad!"

  1. Mick Bordet Says:

    Yes – I appreciate it! Nice work.

    #badscifi just happened to coincide with the final round of ‘Masters of Song Fu’. Since my song was about ‘hot items’ on twitter, #badscifi got a verse all to itself in my ‘shadow’ song #onedayintwitter – you can download it from quickstopentertainment.com.

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