"There’s No Business IN Show Business"


Forget the Onion, SNL, Letterman’s Top 10, Wait Wait or any other source of contempoaray humor. These days, the funniest stuff is coming straight from the Show Biz News. And I don’t mean the celebrity-obsessed Entertainment Tonight stuff; I mean the Biz of the Show, as it arrives weekdays in my email via Cynopsis.com. Dig these cra-azy headlines!

Spike TV will debut the fifth season of the opposite match-up showdown series MXC on November 10 at 12a. The 13-episodes will feature such diversities in competition as MySpace vs. Superheroes, Famous Felons vs. Babe Magnets and The White House vs. The World. (They should swap those first two pairings – MySpace vs. Babe Magnets and Famous Felons vs. Superheroes – and The White House vs. The World? Don’t we see that every day on the News channels?)

The HorseTV Channel will… (need I say more?)

The next MyNetworkTV primetime series… has a promotional partnership involving Wal-Mart, as the series’ lead character… will be outfitted in the retailer’s Metro 7 apparel line. (On the one hand, NewsCorp and Wal-Mart? This is the true “Axis of Evil”. But a current MyNetwork show is set in the world of high-fashion, right? And it’s going to be replaced by a show with wardrobe by Wal-Mart? Big letdown, bad omen for the net, or just going for the “Ugly Betty” audience?)

SOAPnet has launched SoapU, a new platform showcasing student videos who want to be future stars, producers or directors. (I sent my kid to Harvard to become the next Susan Lucci. Sad.)

FremantleMedia and Mobliss are teaming up to launch the new mobile phone channel, Atomic Wedgie… (Whatever you do, DON’T PUT YOUR CEL PHONE IN YOUR PANTS POCKET!)

On Top Chef last season, Chef Lee Anne Wong didn’t win the competition, but clearly was noticed by the folks at Bravo. Wong will get her own broadband-based series called Top Recipe: The Wong Way to Cook (Best. Cooking. Show. Title. Ever.)

…an untitled action/comedy (in development) for The CW described in Hollywood Reporter as Batman meets Sex and the City. It seems there are two best friends, both women, who after some inexplicable event have superpowers and use them to fight crime. (Are we ready for “Mr. Big, the Supervillain”? Anyway, it sounds more to me like “Heroes” meets “Laverne and Shirley”…)

MTV Networks has acquired Quizilla.com from Gorilla Nation Media, LLC for its Nickelodeon/MTVN Kids and Family Group. (Today’s quiz: “Which sign that the Web 2.0 Bubble is about to burst are YOU?”)

The Giddy Gander Company has named Heidi Schwartz as Director of Licensing for its preschool property The Wumblers. (I just like to say “Giddy Gander and the Wumblers with Heidi Schwartz”, don’t you?)

GLR Networks‘ newscast service, Minuto 60, has extended its length to 5 minutes duration, every hour, on the hour. (Doesn’t that make it “Minuto Uno thru Cinco”? And you thought I wasn’t bilinguistic.)

Mushking, The Guardians of the Forest, the animated adventure series, has been picked up by brand management group, Elastic Rights. (This is a deal in Europe… let’s face it, a company called “Elastic Rights” ain’t gonna fly in Hollywood today. BTW, who wants to be a Mushking?)

With so many jokes writing themselves, I’m glad I’m NOT doing this for a living.

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