"FTSL: Fell Down Stairs Laughing"


Credit celeblogger and celebrinerd Dave Barry for this incredible discovery.

hr_safety_083106sized.jpgThe office where the HR department gives candy bars to people who use the handrail while using the stairs.

This is not Comedy Gold. This is Comedy Platinum.

First, the mandatory check… yep, it’s a Government Office… in fact, it’s the Los Alamos National Laboratory. If anybody’s got the money lying around to have two people standing around the stairwells handing out candy bars, it’s Los Alamos.

On the other hand, isn’t Los Alamos supposed to be a place where really really really smart people are supposed to work? And what does it say if you have to remind really really really smart people how to walk up stairs?

I’m not even going to get into the fact that they’re handing out candy bars with peanuts, which for me as a peanut-allergic is more dangerous than falling down stairs. And what do they do if you throw the candy bar wrapper down the stairwell? Or eat the candy bar while using the stairs? Are these circumstances that will result in revocation of your candy bar rights?

And, as the picture shows, the candy-bar-handrail-reward-personnel are standing at the top of the stairs. Now, I have always thought that the danger of falling and the need for handrail usage is much greater if you’re going downstairs. So shouldn’t they be at the bottom?

I wonder what they’re giving to people who use the elevator.

I wonder if there are forms of handrail use that do not qualify for candy bars, or is the HR department required to give it to you even if you walked up the stairs while licking the handrail?

I wonder how many of the really really really smart people at Los Alamos thought of all this before I did.

unitedway2007_sm.jpg And, on an only-slightly-related note, what the snork is this image on the same web page as the handrail story? I know that HR departments, especially HR departments at government offices have an unnatural attraction to the United Way. Doesn’t that picture just confirm the image that most non-HR people have of the United Way? Or maybe the graphic is supposed to represent the United Way’s leadership in anti-pirate activity? Was this left over from Talk Like a Pirate Day? Or a Johnny Depp Movie cross-promotion? Or is the United Way now affiliated with the Swedish Pirate Party? And why is this graphic attached to a dead link?

Do the HR people on Pirate ships go around asking for donations to the United Way? And are they made to walk the plank for that?

So many questions. So few answers.
message.gif Yeah, I wonder about that too.

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