"More Stuff than a Stuffed Stuffing"

2006
Jul
14

Remember… truckers don’t know the best places to eat, just the best places to park…
The people who know the BEST places to eat are the ambulance drivers… but they always have to park a half a block away.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left…
-Chevy Chase in “Caddyshack”

Somebody in Hollywood MUST be working overtime to get Johnny Depp and Hugh Jackman for “Edward Scissorhands vs. Wolverine”.

from the days when Dudley Moore occasionally played straight man to Peter Cook:
Dudley: Do you feel you’ve learnt by your mistakes here?
Peter: I think I have, yes, and I think I can probably repeat them almost perfectly.

Variations on the Old “If I Could Walk That Way, I Wouldn’t Need Talcum Powder” Joke:

“Can you show me where the wheelchairs and other products for the handicapped are?”
“Sure, just walk this way…”
“You’re just setting yourself up for a lawsuit…”

“Can you show me where the old Aerosmith CDs are?”
“Sure, just walk this way…”
“Yeah, great song, but where can I find it?”

“Can you show me where the six-inch stilleto heels are?”
“Sure, just walk this way…”
“I might as well, I won’t be able to do it with the heels…”

Funny Ideas Somebody Should’ve Done Before Now Dept.: Chipmunk-style Rap by MC Hamster.
But just substituting “Hamster” for “Hammer” is always Comedy Gold.
“If I Had a Hamster…”
“Sledge Hamster”
“Hamsterhead Shark”
“Tom ‘the Hamster’ Delay”

One gentleman discussing science and scifi suggested that the best way to keep robots with A.I. from rebelling would be to give them the personalities of the bots on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I pointed out the problem with using anything based on comedians from Minnesota would be the possibility that one would malfunction and become Garrison Keillor. (You had to be there.)

 

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