"Rhyme, Sime, Rhyme!"

2006
May
10

Okay, the new Paul Simon album is out (a collaboration with Brian “Collaborates With Everybody” Eno) with a website where you can hear four of the songs in their entirety and read all the lyrics like they’re short essays. Now, in my long-lost youth, I wrote one-liners for disc jockeys, was so thankful for Simon songs like “Kodachrome” (Momma don’t take my Kodachrome away, you’re already overdeveloped) and “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” (Start runnin’ and stop rhymin’, Simon!) and “You Can Call Me Al” (…as long as you get the name right on the paycheck), so an opportunity to play with not-very-tall Paul’s words is like a day at the beach…

“If the answer is infinite light, why do we sleep in the dark?”
Because we want to be awake to see the answer, duh.

“It’s outrageous a man like me stand here and complain.”
Truer words have seldom been sung.

“Who’s gonna love you when your looks are gone?”
On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.

“Trust your intuition. It’s just like goin’ fishin’.”
Yep, that’s Awkwardly Rhymin’ Simon. Fishin’ accomplished.

“We brought a brand new baby back from Bangladesh… Beautiful.”
What no infant from Iran, child from Chad, adoptee from Argentina or rugrat from Russia?

Not so sure about Eno’s contribution; musically, it sounds kinda like parts of “Graceland” with all the ethnicity surgically removed. Ah yes I’m goin’ to Graceland, and after that, to the old Nixon house, Disgraceland.

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...