"A Message from Jack"

2006
Apr
1

jack2Hello. This is Jack I. Box, CEO and Chairman of Jack in the Box Restaurants, Inc. (NYSE symbol: JBX). Recently, the MSNBC.com website had a feature titled “5 Top Biggest Bad Clowns” which incredibly included me among such fictional characters as Krusty the Klown and the Joker. Well, my legal and other representatives located the author of that potentially libelous work at this personal site. Further research showed that he had actually been an employee at the Jack in the Box restaurant near the Malibu pier in 1974, and, after resigning voluntarily, he failed to return his uniform shirt and hat, at a cost to the company of approximately $14.00. Of course, with 32 years of interest, that debt has significently increased. Anyway, after some intense negotiations between Mr. Wittler and my legal and other representatives, we came to a mutually satisfactory agreement. He has provided text for an alternative “Bad Clown” for the published list (my legal and other representatives are now dealing with the MSNBC.com editors, and we are prepared to go all the way to Bill Gates if necessary… I’m sure the World’s Richest Man wouldn’t like to have word get out about his 99-cent taco habit). Mr. Wittler also provided access to this site for me to make this statement (rather than cluttering up Jackinthebox.com). In exchange, we have discharged his previous debt, provided him with a Jack Cash card in an undisclosed amount, and given him his old job back. wendellhijack Wendell, you’re on graveyard shift tonight. Be there promptly at 11:45, and bring the shirt.

Webmaster’s Note: I have approved of the preceding message – as if I had a choice. And, no, that’s not the shirt he mentioned in the picture to the right. – Wendell Wittler

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