"Oh You Tah!"

2006
Mar
12

I remain awed by the combination of technical skill and sharp humor in some of the entries in Fark’s Photoshop contests, but when they do something that doesn’t require $600 software packages, not as much. Still, there were a few gems among the easy jokes in their “make up a new state slogan for Utah better than ‘Life Elevated’ contest.” And since I can quote them here without the copyright issues of stealing photoshop images, I will do so:

“We’ve got salt!”

(because you know I love puns) “Just when Utah it was safe” or “Utah’d you’d seen it all.”

and…”Utah Utah a puddytat.”

and…”Utah,Oprah. Oprah,Utah.”

and…”Ucame, Utah, Uleft”

“Visit us, or we’ll visit you!”

“We built this city on rock, that’s all.”

“The Third Dakota”

“nothing to see here move along”

(lots of lame bigamy jokes but one good one) “Two girls for every boy.”

“Sex in the Salty”

(can’t get out without a Brokeback reference) “I wish I could quit Utah!”

“We keep the Osmonds so you don’t have to.”

(Mormon ridicule follows:) “Where secret underwear is normal!”
“Home of all those nice boys named Elder.”
“The Jazz moved here where we don’t allow music.”
“Caffeine Free!!!”

MORE: Another collection of Fark funnies I don’t need to leech images for… the photoshop contest “If all films were produced by the people that doing ‘Snakes on a Plane'” consisted of movie posters with more direct tiles:

“Speed” becomes “Bomb on a Bus”

“Jaws” becomes “Big Ass Shark in the Sea”

“Independence Day” becomes “Exploding Landmarks”

“Raiders of the Lost Ark” becomes “God in a Box”

“Scooby Doo” because “Those Damn Meddling Kids and their Dumbass Dog”

“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” becomes “Silly Knees-bent Running Around English Pig-Dogs”

“Planet of the Apes” becomes “Damn Dirty Apes (and Some Pretty Skanky Human Beings Too”

“Lost in Translation” becomes “Deadpan in Japan”

“X-Men” becomes “Good Mutants Fighting Evil Misunderstood Mutants All Wearing Tight Kinky Outfits”

“Cast Away” becomes “Talking to a Volleyball”

“Tootsie” becomes “Focker in a Dress”

“Reservoir Dogs” becomes “Violent Guys in Dark Suits”

and “The Day After Tomorrow” becomes “Global Warming Screws Humanity (from the director of “Exploding Landmarks”)”

Some went the already-frequently explored route of making the title a plot spoiler (“Rosebud = Sled”, “He’s Already Dead”, “War With Aliens Who Apparently Die from the Flu”), and some were more editorializing than descriptive (“The Matrix” becomes “Sort of Like TRON but with Cooler Effects” and “Memento” becomes “One Extended Gimmick”) but more than the usual Farky funniness… probably better enjoyed WITH the graphics, so go ahead and click the link. Go ahead. Fark isn’t that scary.

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