"You’re Voted Off the Island, “Git-Er-Done”"

2006
Jan
1

Okay, the Rose Parade is a day late, the bowl games drag on through Wednesday, but one New Year’s tradition is right on time. It’s Lake Superior State University’s Annual List of Banished Words.

This year’s instant cliches:

  1. SURREAL (a formerly useful word, recently abused bySurreality TV)
  2. HUNKER DOWN (I’d rather hunker UP myself)
  3. PERSON OF INTEREST (a new criminal-justice weasel word to seperate the people we know are guilty – the Suspect – and the ones who only might be guilty)
  4. COMMUNITY OF LEARNERS (the latest dumbing-down of Education)
  5. UP OR DOWN VOTE (zero-sum politics, no compromises please…)
  6. BREAKING NEWS (this one was doomed when promos for “The Daily Show” started saying “When news breaks, we fix it.”)
  7. DESIGNER BREED (if your human pedigree is doubtful, use your dog’s)
  8. FEMA (what do you expect from a government agency named after a bone in your leg?)
  9. FIRST-TIME CALLER (the public deflowering of talk radio virgins – this one’s been a bone in my throat since my radio days in the late 1970s when I used to annoy talk jocks regularly as “a 37th-time caller”)
  10. PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! (another one that’s been around way too long… remember, they also pass the cost increases to you)
  11. 97% FAT FREE (3% fat. got it.)
  12. AN ACCIDENT THAT DIDN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN (quick – tell me about an accident that had to happen)
  13. JUNK SCIENCE (now we call it Religion)
  14. GIT-ER-DONE (can we just send Larry the Crapple Guy to Siberia?)
  15. DAWG (sadly, the memory of Deputy Dawg cartoons are totally lost)
  16. TALKING POINTS (as used by talking asses)
  17. HOLIDAY TREE (you don’t have to believe in the mythological “War on Christmas” to believe this is a stupid term… maybe someday, when the marketers start selling Arbor Day decorations)

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...