"Where Was I?"


Did I say updates would be intermittant? I meant non-existant.
To quote a band I will not publicly admit I like, “What a long, strange trip it’s been”. Even though the “trip” was basically from 12018-and-a-half to 12018 on a street in the San Fernando Valley, it was detoured by way of Pasadena, Visalia, Fairfax Virginia, the “Twin Towers” jail in Downtown L.A. (just visiting a previous tenant) and the Cast Room at the Southern California Orthopedic Institute. Intervention was required from the Social Security Administration, the EPA, the L.A. Department of Water and Power, and the Tulare County Humane Society. The whole dramedy featured a cast of characters most of whom were either on parole, off their meds or in Development Hell. But I learned a lot for my trouble; like the value of “grey market” plumbing products from major home improvement stores, how long-lost relatives are the best kind, why you should NOT feed Taco Bell products to a Chihuahua puppy, and how the rainiest February in years is inevitable when your furniture is sitting out in a driveway midway between a residence where the new tenants are moving in and one where the old tenants haven’t moved out.
Maybe someday I’ll tell the whole story to somebody other than TiVo Customer Service (don’t laugh – it got me the Version 2.01 upgrade installed before everybody else). I just can’t decide whether the Movie Version of my experience should be directed by the Coen Brothers or the Farrelly Brothers. But after going without Web Access at home AND at work long enough to bring my number of “new” Metafilter entries to 534, I have decided to withdraw as much as possible from “meatspace” and spend all my time here in cyberspace… assuming I find a desk chair that survived the move.
So, anything happen while I’ve been gone? Oh. The Wetlog has run dry, Zeldman has become the most hated man on the Web, and Pyra has imploded (with Ev developing an eerie resemblence to Noah Grey). Webloggers are getting divorced, married, laid-off, pissed-off, published and perished. All in all, the “A-List” is doing almost as well as the NASDAQ.

Welcome to the year 2001, the year of SXSWBush (Forget “wireless web”; I hope all the California bloggers who went to Austin packed a really long extension cord). I still want my flying car (even though it would probably fall out of the sky because of a broken $6 part), but I’m not sure I even care if Hal opens the pod bay doors: all MY base still belongs to ME.

Now that the movies’ other Stanley K. has passed away, it’s less of a Mad Mad Mad Mad World than it was before, and that’s sad. But at least the FBI found their Mole before ABC did theirs.

And after my 150-foot move has cost more than my employer would have paid me for a cross-country relocation, I can at least take comfort in the knowledge that 75% of my 401K has been in bonds since last June, every fast food place in California is selling a 99-cent double cheeseburger, it’s the last days of Montgomery Wards’ AND Crown Books’ Going Out of Business Sales, and, if all else fails, I still have 6 months until the Republican Rules for personal bankruptcy go into effect.

And I’m back online in time for April 1st.

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