"Panty Raided"

2008
Jun
17

I am way late to the panty party on making fun of Kmart selling “Abstinence Pants”, especially since the BigK has taken the offering off its website (that’s the link used a week ago to point to the pants), either because they’ve been discontinued or are way-way out of stock. Not going to try to guess which.

But I had to roll the idea around in my head, think about what’s dreadfully wrong about having “True Love Waits” printed on your butt, and come up with some good alternatives.

First, for those who want the same message but a little more hip (pun not intended), a little more Web-Savvy…
pants-not-yours

Or you can embrace the cynicism…
pants-wait-for-me

Or take what I thought would be a common misinterpretation (“She’s a big Tom Waits fan”) and make it literal…
pants-tom-waits

Or, for those of us who have loved and lost, whether we waited or not…
pants-waste

Yes, I also could’ve made a pun with “waist”, especially since my greatest weight loss program essentially ended when I met Ms. I-Thought-She-Was-Crazy-For-Me-But-Turned-Out-She-Was-Just-Crazy and my greatest weight gain was during the final throes of that relationship. But, as you can see, I’m much too vulnerable and haven’t been properly vulnered in months…

You know what I’d LOVE to see (and so would a lot of you, especially the guys, admit it) is…
true-love-tattoo

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...