"Happy Father’s Day"

2008
Jun
15

I offer this greeting to men everywhere from the POV of one who has always believed that the best way I can help future generations of humanity is by NOT passing on my DNA. You will all thank me later.

No, seriously, I have no children and I do not intend to get any. And my practice of staying in contact with exes for at least a year after breakup has assured me no surprises. Unless somebody got a sample of my sperm without my knowledge. Which is always a possibility since I’m usually not in a proper state of mind to keep track of it, ifyouknowwhatImean.

As long as I’m talking dirty, I’ve read a lot of spoileriffic stuff about the Incredible Hulk movie but the one thing that made me giggle was Bruce Banner’s sexual hangup… “You won’t like me when I’m angry… and you really won’t like me when I’m horny.” An interesting variation on the old “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” trope. Maybe Tony Stark should start marketing Iron Man Condoms.

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AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...