May 2008

2008
May
31

More Than a Little Gamey

Based on my recent comments here and elsewhere, you might think that I didn’t have anything but praise for every webcomic on the Internet. PUH-LEEZE. Sturgeon’s Law (“90% of everything is crap”) applies to webcomics and then some (more like a 99% ratio), and I am deeply underwhelmed by some of the “institutions” in the field. But I don’t like to trash-talk; making fun of the low-hanging fruit among the comix is for lazy cynical assholes, and I’m not quite ready to get in an argument with the rest of the web over whether Penny Arcade or Achewood are overrated (oops). But you know what? There are a bunch of comics that I consider crappy that I include in my comic surfing at least once a week, because either (a) they are popular enough that I can’t totally ignore them, (b) once in a while some of them do succeed in providing some entertainment and (c) often they make me laugh for totally different reasons than they intended to make me laugh (yes, I am capable of the Nelson Muntz “Ha ha, you look stupid”).

One of those comics is “Little Gamers”, and on Friday, it achieved a level of suckiness that has rarely been reached by the talentless souls who haunt the webcomics world.
Is that all? Of course that’s not all! Click Here.

AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...
May
31

Logo-riffic!

Still working on alternative logo ideas, and am not too proud to ‘borrow’…

Sit Wendell Sit

Sit, Wendell, Sit.

2008
May
30

Yelling Fire in a Crowded Crotch

I was in the process of web-bragging to somebody about how my area is so peaceful, we have to import gangstas from L.A. to do a bank robbery, when I noticed this on the same news site:

Men Plead Not Guilty to Setting Friend’s Crotch on Fire

ANOTHER bit of real life I can’t be funnier (or more ewwww-ish) than.

Or to put it another way:

May
30

The Wendell Who Plays Gitar

I already admitted that Wendell Ferguson, the Canadian Country Guitar Player who has done studio work with Gordon Lightfoot, Jane Siberry and a whole bunch of other artists I don’t recognize – probably because they’re all Canadian – is funnier than I am. Anybody who titles his “Live!” album “The S#!t Hits the Fans” has the kind of self-effacing inferiority-complex humor I can relate to. Forget that he was named the Canadian Country Music Associations’ “Guitar Player of the Year” seven years straight, forcing the Assn. to “retire” him from future competition.

But as a life-long aficionado of Funny Music from Spike Jones the Elder to Weird Al the Yankovic (and who once gave Dr. Demento a record he had not yet discovered but which he played on his show), I am damn proud to share monikers with this Ferguson fellow. Especially since I can take the day off from being funny myself and just quote his songs for laughs:
Is that all? Of course that’s not all! Click Here.

May
30

Hot Puppy

UPDATED!

If you think the Incredible R. Stevens’ daily dead-tree syndicated version of Diesel Sweeties is any less hilariously spit-takery shocking than the online version just because he’s keeping it slightly more family-friendly, then LOOK AT THIS. BEST. USE. OF. PENULTIMATE. SILENT. PANEL. EVER. Building on the absurdity/outrageousness of the first panel to a one-word final panel that screams out “OMIGOD HE REALLY MEANS IT?!?”.

And that first panel is one of those takes on an old pop culture reference that is so perfect, I am amazed I never heard it before. He really is one of the best comic strip gag writers of this generation, if not THE best. And how he gets such a range of (mostly comedic) emotion out of a few changed pixels on his pixelated characters’ faces is remarkable.

Seriously. Funny.

on June 3, 2008, the UPDATE is…
As this comic hit the official Diesel Sweeties site after the comics.com 5-day exclusivity window, R. revealed that it is “remarkable because it prompted an email from the Charles Schulz MuseumÂ…. a positive email!” I’m impressed.

2008
May
29

I (Should) Give Up (Again)

I said it before. I’ll say it again. I cannot write anything funnier than the headlines I am seeing from the ‘serious’ news media:

Clay Aiken Reportedly Expecting a Baby

May
29

Google Bumming

For the record, I do NOT know why Google seems to love me so much. The feeling is not quite mutual. I have made fun of the Big Goog occasionally. Philosophically, I distrust any entity that offers to do EVERYTHING for you, ESPECIALLY commercial ones.

I digress, but that Thomas Jefferson quote that’s been doing the rounds lately has kind of bothered me: “Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have.” Forget the fact that you can find Jefferson quotes that contradict every other Jefferson quote, but a government doesn’t NEED to be ‘big enough to supply everything you need’ to be ‘big enough to take everything you have’. When a good piece of the “War on Drugs” is being paid for with non-contraband property seizures from drug-law suspects… but I’m getting too serious. Well, I promised less Wit and more tler…

And I still frequently cringe when I see the ‘context-relevent’ ads that Google AdWords put in my sidebar. That’s why it is working its way down the page with each design tweak. But I can’t drop it entirely because it has ‘earned’ me about $1.50 a month in the five years I’ve used it, and I am now actually getting close to the $100 level for a minimum payment. I’m not going to leave $97 on the table, dammit. Of course, if you’d like to see me drop the Google ads, you could help me reach the $100 level by… no, I’m not allowed to say that, am I? If I have ever written anything that rates a 😉 emoticon, this is it.

May
29

Wendell Watch

I have resisted googling myself since I changed the blog’s domain name from WendellWit.com to WendellWittler.com (which you may not have noticed if you were re-directed here). After all, my WordPress Dashboard tells me NOBODY is linking to me anymore (all the links pass through the WendellWit redirect), but the PageRank widget in Firefox tells me I’ve restored my 5 rating. So, I google “wendell” and OMG! I am UP to #6! The only more Google-relevent Wendells are towns in North Carolina and Massachusetts, Mr. Berry (twice) and Wendell August “unique American-made giftware”. That’s the highest I have EVER placed. My peak position as WendellWit was #8!!! Take THAT Wendell Castle Furniture! In your FACE, 1946 Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner Wendell M. Stanley!
Is that all? Of course that’s not all! Click Here.

May
29

Today’s Hollywood Pitch:

Remember the movie “Reality Bites”? Do a 15-years-later sequel, same characters, all caught up in the SubPrime Mortgage mess, title it “Realty Bites”.

May
29

Sticking the Landing?

I need advice. How can I dance the FishStick when I’m shaped like a Chicken Nugget? Okay, maybe more like a MeatBall. But shouldn’t there be ChickenNugget or MeatBall dances? Maybe a CarrotStick for the vegetarians? EggRoll? OnionRing? TaterTot? The Finger Food Dance Craze possibilities are as endless as your appetite.