October 2007

2007
Oct
31

Smile for the Camera

I’d just like to re-affirm my opinion that this was not funny, mostly because there was too little resemblance between the artists-rendition of the alleged rapist and LA news anchor Marc Brown to work (especially the cheeks: the sketch of the perp shows either scarring or sunken cheeks and Marc has among the chubbiest cheeks allowed on TV news) but yes, at that split-second when he was pronouncing the sound “ooo”, Marc’s expression matches the picture very well. I’m just concerned, having seen his performance on Eyewitness News, at how much trouble whoever screengrabbed it went to in order to get that expression match.

But seriously, it’s like saying that Yassir Arafat and Mel Blanc looked alike…
mel.jpg

I’m pointing this out partly because I have finally caught up with moderating my comments (in addition to the Akismet anti-spam, I use the option requiring moderation of anything from a first-time commenter), and while blindly dumping comments added to old posts, accidentally(honest!) deleted a comment from somebody who does think it’s funny. My apologies.

But I’m also pointing thins out because I firmly believe that the following picture (screengrabbed from a Jay Leno ‘Headlines’ segment, and released to the wilds of the Web) IS funny.
oral.jpg And,

AND NOW A WORD FROM SOMEBODY WHO MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ME...
Oct
31

My Name Is Wendell and I’m a Chocoholic

I’m going public with this just because I am so proud that I have made it to Halloween Day without buying ANY seasonal candy. Also, by way of an explanation if I should disappear after tonight, it will be due to the wrath of angry trick-or-treaters. Still, does this mean I qualify for a “30-day Chocolate Chip”?

2007
Oct
30

What You Say During Sex Reflects On YOU

One of those Classic MetaFilter Arguments about Atheism included the following comment: “So the next time I’m in a motel room and I hear the neighbor’s headboard banging against the wall and screams of “Oh My Non-Entity, OH MY NON-ENTITY!,” I’ll know there’s a [member of Metafilter] in the house.”

Now, long before my own personal anti-religious epiphany, I genuinely questioned the general propriety of invoking the name of the Deity before or during orgasm. And I have since come to the conclusion that the person crying out “Oh My God!” is very simply denying their partner the credit which they deserve. Of course, in some cases, it is used in order to avoid having to actually remember the name of the person you’re in the heat of passion with, and then there are some people who hear “Oh My God!” and believe it refers to them. (from an early unreleased version of Carly Simon’s song “You’re So Vain… I’ll bet you think this moan is about you…”)

2007
Oct
29

no relation to Top Cat

Best Truncation Ever: on the message line of a non-spam advertising email*… “important advice: if you wish to shop for health insurance, do it with a top rat…”

*”LYCOS MAIL” I was about to unsubscribe from that list, but I think I’ll keep it around just for laughs.

2007
Oct
28

The Ballad of Benny Lava

I don’t know if the following is more about ridiculing the manic, often wacky style of Indian musicals and music videos, or about ridiculing the mono-lingual English speaking population who want to hear everything in their language, but it put me into a nearly-heart-stopping laughing fit!

Embedded here are two slightly different uploads of the same video.

First is the original music video (regrettably without its original credits). You don’t have to watch this version in its entirety; the first minute or so should give you a feeling for it. But listen carefully to the lyrics. They are NOT in English, but can you make out some words and phrases?

Okay, now watch this ‘subtitled’ version, in which some evil genius called Buffalax gives his interpretation of what’s being sung (please note, there are a couple bits of NSFW language in the text). By reading along while listening, your brain will believe that’s what they’re singing.

This video vandal has been doing this for the last year with various Japanese, Chinese and Hindu language music vids, and others have similarly done clips (maybe Buffalax isn’t even the first, I don’t know) but this is truly his grandest achievement so far. And anyone who thinks it’s offensively racist wins my “Unpunctured Award” for totally missing the point.

2007
Oct
22

HEADLINE

ILLNESS THAT CAUSED WENDELL TO MISS “TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY” (AARR AARR) ALMOST DOES SAME TO “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”. FORTUNATELY, YOU ONLY NEED TO PRESS THE CAPS LOCK KEY ONCE AND I’M NOT TOO SICK TO DO THAT. I JUST HOPE I DON’T ACCIDENtally ….uh oh…

2007
Oct
19

Chekhov’s Checkout… 10 Bullets or Less?

The literary device known as “Chekhov’s Gun”: “The gun hanging on the wall in the first act always goes off in the third.”

Which made me think not about Anton Chekhov, but Pavel Chekhov, the character in the Original Star Trek. Did the writers and producers have a rule called “Chekhov’s Phaser” which meant that the only time he could fire his weapon was in the third act, or only if he was shown wearing it in the first, or even better, he NEVER fired in the Third Act (the hour TV shows of that period always had four acts). It’d be nice to think that Gene Roddenberry had done inside jokes like that, but it really wasn’t done in the ’60s. Or maybe when J. Michael Straczynski hired Walter Koenig (who played Chekhov) for a role in Babylon 5…

I believe I have just achieved Level 43 Geekery.

2007
Oct
17

Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me…

…makes me stronger? I can think of a lot better endings for that saying.

Whatever Doesn’t Kill Me…

…at least takes out a few brain cells.

…wasn’t really trying.

…was a red herring on CSI.

…raises my insurance rates.

…can be returned for store credit.

…puts me to work.

…knocks my beak off (if I’m Daffy Duck).

…is considered “recreational”.

…is not antibiotic-resistant enough.

…is something I’ll try again.

…makes a good blog subject.

2007
Oct
11

Ask Your Doctor if a Swift Kick

(Cross-posted from Funny Paperless, because this is about a webcomic, but it’s also about me)

I guess I must confess that a diagnosed case of depression is one of the major reasons I haven’t updated any of my blogs enough (or finished a redesign that I started MONTHS ago). Or I may just be using depression as an excuse for being a lazy bum. Still, this Questionable Content was something I could unquestionably relate to, but never having been ‘a drinker’, I wanted to excerpt the part most relevant to me:

I do agree that good diet and exercise often help me even more than the ‘happy pills’, but when other physical health issues keep me from exercising, it turns into a vicious cycle, and being stuck in front of the computer screen for long hours no longer insures that I’ll get anything done. Sigh.

But it’s the punchline that I can most relate to, because I was part of one of the clinical trials for “swift kick in the rear therapy” while I had to share a small apartment with my retired father for over a year. My results were inconclusive, but I suspect that I was part of the ‘control’ group, since, at his age, my dad’s kicks aren’t really all that swift.

Still, I was disappointed to hear the recent news that Pfizer had secured a patent for the Swift KickĀ™.

Oct
11

Ask Your Doctor if a Swift Kick is Right for You

(Cross-posted from Funny Paperless, because this is about a webcomic, but it’s also about me)

I guess I must confess that a diagnosed case of depression is one of the major reasons I haven’t updated any of my blogs enough (or finished a redesign that I started MONTHS ago). Or I may just be using depression as an excuse for being a lazy bum. Still, this Questionable Content was something I could unquestionably relate to, but never having been ‘a drinker’, I wanted to excerpt the part most relevant to me:

I do agree that good diet and exercise often help me even more than the ‘happy pills’, but when other physical health issues keep me from exercising, it turns into a vicious cycle, and being stuck in front of the computer screen for long hours no longer insures that I’ll get anything done. Sigh.

But it’s the punchline that I can most relate to, because I was part of one of the clinical trials for “swift kick in the rear therapy” while I had to share a small apartment with my retired father for over a year. My results were inconclusive, but I suspect that I was part of the ‘control’ group, since, at his age, my dad’s kicks aren’t really all that swift.

Still, I was disappointed to hear the recent news that Pfizer had secured a patent for the Swift Kick?.