July 2007


Wendel Workstation?

I guess if WalMart is telling me to get back to work, then, I’d better get back to work.
(It’s certainly better than going to work at WalMart…)


Religion vs. Philosophy, a Deep Dish Thought

If Religion is the Opiate of the Masses, then Philosophy is the NSAID. Not quite as potent, non-addictive and it doesn’t get you high, but may hurt your stomach.


The Hairy Death of Hollow Potter

I was working on-and-off on a funny-as-all-get-out collection of Harry Potter NON-Spoilers, that is, events that I could guarantee would NOT happen in “Deathly Harry and the Potter Hallows” or whatever. But I wound up disappointing myself in the quality of the lines; meanwhile I kept hearing other ‘joke spoilers’ that duplicated my jokes. But then, the “Sopranos-esque-Eat-Onion-Rings-and-Go-Suddenly-to-Black-Ending” and the “Voldemort/Vader-Is-Harry/Luke’s-Father-Twist” are pretty obvious. By Thursday Evening, the latest I could post this and get noticed before the book came out, I was down on the whole enterprise. Still, I had a few worthy lines, so here are a few things that you’ll never find in the last Harry Potter book, or any Harry Potter book not written by an idiot or a smart-ass:

  • Harry leads a gang of Hogwarts students to the streets of London, assaulting Christians.
  • Hermione grows up to marry an Advertising guy named Darren.
  • Harry is singled out and invited to become a transcendant post-human being by a vision resembling Wesley Crusher from “Star Trek: TNG”.
  • The Hogwarts Academy is actually a small model inside a snowglobe, obsessed over by the real Harry Potter, an autistic boy in Boston.
  • Voldemort admits responsibility for 9/11.
  • Hedwig becomes famous as the “ORLY?” owl.

As for my own life, I remain hopeful that THIS is all a dream and I wake up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette. But with my luck, I’ll wake up and find Patrick Duffy in the shower.


Tanks a Lot

Finally, a media outlet takes a positive step beyond reporting catastrophes and toward preventing them. I think.
(And I just noticed at the very bottom of the clipping, the first in the list of “BBC Related Sites” listed is “Sport”)


More Funny Strange than Funny HaHa

I had not been keeping up my blog about comics (web and otherwise), but when I did my usual jog through the aggregators of newspaper comics, I found so much that was weirder than usual, I had to sit down and take two-and-a-half hours to sum it all up. And THAT’s why I haven’t been keeping up this blog either…
Family Circus


It Was Thirty Years Ago Today – More or Less

An aging radio fan (NOT ME) has put up a GeoCities (how 1997!) site in tribute to semi-legendary broadcaster and my former mentor “Sweet” Dick Whittington, including a reprinted magazine article documenting one of his stunts while I was his Assistant/Gopher/Sidekick.

Sweet Dick and Wendell in LondonYes, I am the “Wendell” in the article AND I’m in this picture, standing to the right, trying to hide a tape recorder under my jacket from the London bobbies guarding 10 Downing Street. (They didn’t allow recording devices at the Prime Minister’s front door).

I may yet find him a better webplace for his little fansite, but in the meantime let me point out that (a) I was NOT responsible the lost cassette; that was Dave the Engineer’s fault, and (b) I did not record the “beer in Bangor” incident because my recorder’s batteries had run down after all I had recorded at the LA Airport send-off and on the flight (and Dave the Engineer had all the batteries, so I blame him again).

And that was a PG-rated ‘edited’ account of the Bangor incident from the Los Angeles Magazine writer – who went on to become, among other things, editor in chief at E!Online – and who got a free ticket to follow this adventure because we’d made promotional trade-offs with the airline and a London hotel for a dozen people – because one of the other ‘extra people’ along for the trip was Dick’s then-girlfriend, who requested to be kept out of the article, even though the real reason for their disappearance was so he could “bang her in Bangor”.