February 2006


Epitaph on a blues musician’s tombstone:

“I didn’t wake up this morning”

How To Sing the Blues via Presurfer, who links the blues



I’m not updating as much as I want to, so I’ll throw on something I did elsewhere some time ago… a little game called “What Do These Pictures Have In Common?”

Here’s an easy one to warm-up on:


Let’s see… A worker showing buttcrack, James Denton from ‘Desperate Houswives’, G. Gordon Liddy and the Roto Rooter Goodtime Christmas Band… that’s easy, the answer is plumbers!

Okay, now for real… “What Do These Pictures Have In Common?” #1


These all represent brand names or part of brand names of WHAT?
Number 2 (with double the pictures):

These all represent (some literally, some symbolically) titles of WHAT?

For now, just put your answers in the comments; the first one to get it right will win something related to #2.


Beavage Cleavage!

I know what most of you sick-os thought when you saw the website for the Save The Bald Beaver campaign.baldbeavers.jpg

Well, what I thought of was that great episode from that dismally underrated cartoon series “The Angry Beavers”: “Sans-A-Pelt”, in which our heroes, Norbert and Daggett (flawlessly played by Nick Bakay and Richard Horvitz), found themselves far from home and fur-less from the neck down.

And especially, I was thinking of the wonderful musical number from that cartoon featuring the lovely Sheared Sheep Singers. (mp3 file via yousendit.com)


Let’s All Laugh at AOL, shall we?

Or, if Carl Icahn got something like this, no wonder he wants Time Warner to divest it.

Ah, those ubiquitous AOL discs in the mail. With those funky passwords made up of two random 5-or-6-letter words. (they’ve been making people wonder since 1997 and earlier)

I’ve just received one with a particularly interesting choice of password words (the last one):

And I thought it was Google they were trying to partner with. Hey, maybe we can start a Wall Street rumor out of this… YAHOO and AOL. Pass it on. And by the way, what the funkadelic are “ELVERS”?


A Laugh A Minute Makes 1,440

Kiefer “Jack Bauer” Sutherland is quoted as considering making a comedy version of his hit TV show “24” as an “Airplane-“style movie. If they’re going to use the same format, it’ll have to be titled “2”. Or “1:40”, because you know comedies shouldn’t drag on too long…

ADDENDUM: My GoogleAds hadn’t been all that relevent lately, but gee-whizikers, when I put in “Jack Bauer” and “24” once each, they just took over the sidebar like terrorists with a 55-gallon drum of WMDs.


Geeks on a Plane!!!

How can I come back from several days of silence during a flood of topical humor and not explain where I’ve been? Okay, I admit it… I was out hunting with Dan Quayle, and much to our frustration and shame, neither of us bagged a single lawyer.

But that’s not what I’m blogging about…

Lemon Demon, the evil musical genius behind “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny” has a new animated music video: “Geeks in Love”.

A ‘geek-positive’ message, good music and a million pop-culture references:


Faith in Dog

When I used to begin to think that my dog had better taste than I do, I’d remind myself of two things: (1) she eats poop and (2) she likes me.


Dead Artists Society

In a time when real estate is so expensive, The Final Curtain may have a good idea here – combining a cemetary with an art museum to provide a permanent resting place, not just for the artist, but his/her final artistic work. OK, this site is at least 6 years old (but it apparently never got noticed by my circle of bloggery) and nothing’s been built yet. And most of the “proposed artworks” by still-living artists range from unsubtly satirical to very silly.

Presurfer stumbled over the propsal by Joseph Sullivan to keep a camera in his coffin to document him decomposing. It’s a particularly frightening thought that nothing will keep some Performance Artists from continuing their awful performances.

So what would I do if I had absolute carte blanche over the design of my gravesite? Probably an animatronic Bullwinkle moving its lips to quotes from my blog. In reality, I’d just want them to spell my name right in the gravestone (2 T’s and No H on that last name, grim reaper) – and do it in Bookman Bold Italic (with Swash).

How about you? This seems like a good time to work the Comments function for a totally creepy purpose…


Goodbye Mrs. Chips

I haven’t blogged a lot about the deaths of famous or notable people. Celeblogger Mark Evanier is the true master at that unappreciated art, and I mean that totally NON-sarcastically. But this one I suspect he’ll miss. Rebecca Webb Carranza, inventor of the Tortilla Chip, has died at the age of 98.

I owe a lot to the Tortilla Chip… I estimate between 15 and 20 of my 150 pounds of excess weight.


The Latest Fine Tooning

A lot of people with fond memories of all the Curious George books are dreading the almost-here release of the Curious George Movie, between the not-quite-true-to-the-original animation style, the attention given to voice performers Will Farrell and Drew Barrimore (neither of whom portray George, who does NOT have any spoken lines but a variety of ‘monkey noises’ vocalized by animation veteran Frank Welker – misspelled on the official website as Frank Walker -see?) and the fear of marketing-saturization-overexposure-abuse, which is born out by a story about product placement in the movie.

Apparently, a deal with Dole will have George stickers on their supermarket bananas as well as cases of Dole branded fruit showing up in the backgrounds during the movie. The Man in the Yellow Hat will drive a recognizable Volkswagen Touareg, and when you see a mailman and a mail truck in the movie with the U.S. Postal Service logo, they paid for it.

But most of the news from the Animation Front is positive (can’t call ’em Cartoons anymore now that newspaper caricatures of prophets dominate the Google searches for that word). The long-threatened “Toy Story 3” that Disney was going to produce without Pixar is, now that Pixar is a part of Disney, in the right hands.

And the Wallace and Grommit Movie “Curse of the Were-Rabbit” swept the 33rd Annual ‘Annie’ Awards days before its release on DVD. (Yes, that’s an Amazon Associates link; if you want to buy the DVD and haven’t yet you can use that to save 40%+ AND send Wendell a few referral pennies.) Meanwhile, W&G’s parental units at Aardman Animation have announced that they’ve sold CBS an American version of “Creature Comforts”, the ingenious little concept that won an Oscar(TMAMPAS) for Best Animated Short way back in ’89, and which more recently has been fleshed out into a very funny weekly show in AlmostGreat Britain (in fact, right now it’s one of the best things on the BBC America cable channel, even though it’son a non-Beeb channel in the UK). Also available on DVD in the USA.(yes, another Amazon link, he fully disclosed)

And of course you’ve already heard about the revival of “Futurama” in a batch of 4 -count ’em 4- direct to DVD feature-lengthers (OK, animated ‘feature length’ is usually between 60 and 90 minutes…). You HAVE heard about it, haven’t you? No? Well you can bite my shiny metal ass, or you can buy all the old DVDs. Then I’ll be willing to speak to you again. Harrumph.