I don’t know if anyone will believe this, but I was following the talented Drew Olanoff on Twitter before he was diagnosed with cancer and decided to fight it by blaming it for everything. While logically unsound, the approach shows a defiant attitude and sends a valuable message about taking charge of things you’re not expected to have any control over. And it has evolved into a successful charitable campaign for Lance Armstrong’s LiveStrong org, and the beginnings of something even bigger. Then he came up with the idea of auctioning off his short Twitter ID, “drew”, with the money raised going to fight cancer (and not just blame it), drawing the attention (pun intended… pun is always intended) of a more famous Drew than Olanoff. ‘Drew Who?’ you may ask? Well, not famous acting person Drew Barrymore (unfortunately) or accused multiple-wife-killer Drew Peterson (fortunately) or Drew NoLastName who creates the quite poorly drawn (chuckle) but not-as-successful-as-XKCD webcomic Toothpaste For Dinner (no big deal) or Drew U. or Drew Shoe or anything else that rhymes with Drew (I may sometimes use the name Drew Man Foo as an alias).
Nope, it’s TV Comedy Alleged Legend Drew Carey, the man who has some strange control over the CBS Television Network. Honestly, first his ‘Drew Carey Show’ co-star Craig Ferguson gets the timeslot after Letterman (currently known as ‘Apology Hour II’)…
But I digress… Then he himself gets the plum job replacing Bob Barker (who taught Letterman all he knows about job-based hanky-panky) as the host of “The Price Is Right”. Now, Wayne Brady, who got his first big break doing song-and-dance on Drew’s improv comedy show (and a second big break from Dave Chappelle, but I’m digressing again) is hosting a new version of “Let’s Make a Deal” replacing “Guiding Light”. What’s next? “The CBS Evening News with Colin Mochrie”?!? (Actually, that’s not a bad idea… remember, Peter Jennings was Canadian… but I’m really digressing).
So, to make a long story longer, Drew Carey decides he (a) really wants to be Twitter’s Drew, (b) really wants to do something good for a good cause, (c) really knows what kind of positive PR this is or (d) all of the above, and bids $25,000 for the Twittername, while giving notice that he will increase the bid to $100,000, even if nobody bids against him (where are you, Ms. Barrymore?) if he gets 100,000 followers for his old Twittername, @drewfromtv. (Go ahead, click the link and follow him; there’s no shame in it; it’s for charity) Then during a segment for another CBS show (I’m surprised it wasn’t Kathy Kinney interviewing him) he, supposedly off the cuff (one problem Drew Carey has is that even his honest sincerity sounds like fake sincerity), declares that he’ll raise the stakes by $1 per follower up to ONE MILLION DOLLARS (Can anybody say that figure anymore without sounding like Dr. Evil?)
But of all the various issues raised by this whole thing (Do we really want to give Drew Carey’s ego that big a boost? Should Drew Olanoff blame cancer or credit cancer for this? Have they tested Twitter on rats to see if it causes cancer?), the most perplexing comes from the juxtaposition of these two pictures (right) on Mashable’s page covering the news.
Now look closely at the Two Drews and tell me.. Are they both wearing the same style of glasses? And if so, is Drew Olanoff’s pair twice the size of Drew Carey’s, or is Carey’s head double the size of Olanoff’s? Inquiring minds want to know. (And shouldn’t somebody tell Drew Carey that those glasses he used to wear are back in style, thanks to the “Mad Men” Early 60s Revival? Or is he going to use his inexplicable influence at CBS to make David Caruso change his style of sunglasses? Can I get a “YYEEEEAAAAHHH” on that?)