"Double Doggone!"

Just when I think I’ve gotten out, they drag me back in…

I should be working on one of the 4,216 things on my To-Do List (not to mention my GoTo list, my UnDo list, my NoNo list, my DeepDooDoo list and my RuhRoh list), but I cannot let this pass. Apparently my recent post full of whimsical mixed-breed dog names is now obsolete. Made so by a list of real mixed-breed dog names that is just as funny. (Blame my MSNBC.com editor, who gets to blog on the big site, for that)

Now remember, these are the recognized real names of the dog breeds (maybe not American Kennel Club approved, but approved by somebody).

Looking for a brave dog? I’d have my doubts about the Afaird.
The Affenpincher (already a funny name) are being crossbred into the Affen Tzu, Affengriffon, Affenhuahua and one breed that just sounds like censored dialogue from “Deadwood”, the Affenpoo.
Do you think, if the Army had had some Afghan Retrievers in ’02, we could’ve caught Bin Laden?
Some cross-breeding attempts are follies. This one was an Afollie.
The American Eagle Dog is for the birds.
And the American Rat Pinscher just needs to be taught some good manners.
And the folks down under don’t admit they’re copying us, but the Aussiedoodle sounds suspicious.
It’s the first officially Jewish dog: the Bagle Hound. (If you think I’m making these up, click the links – I’m only starting on the ‘B’s…)
And the worst overuse of consonants award goes to the Basschshund.
And a Basselier sounds like somebody you have to tip at an expensive resort.
And I thought the Bassugg was a musical instrument that only large orchestras have.
Be-Apso is something you take for upset stomach, right? Or was that Beago?
Another Jewish dog? The Beagleman!
And another dirty-word dog… the Bich-poo.
So many… Bocker and Bogle and Boxador…
The combination dog and exercise machine, the Bospin.
And this one you gotta click the link to prove I’m not lying… the Brat!
How about a Brug sitting on your rug?
It doesn’t mean to be annoying, it’s just bred that way: the Buggs. (How does it get along with Bunnies?)
The Bullmatian? The Cairnoodle?
And a cute little pup you just wanna pinch… the Cheeks.
You got a Cherokee Monarch, and he wants his land back.
Here’s a poker playing dog, the Chipin.
The Chonzer… didn’t he sing with some ’50s group?
Teach the Heimlich to a Chorkie, it’s gonna need it.
And the perfect dog to take to a kegger, the Chug!
There’s a new breed called the Comfort Retriever. the only dog that can fetch a La-Z-Boy.
Have a champagne toast for the Corkie!
But don’t let your Crested Malt in the ice cream parlor…
Aw he’s so shy… the Coydog.
Okay, I’m not going to get out of the ‘C’s without addressing the Cocker Spaniel mixes. You probably heard of the Cockapoo (no, you don’t feed it bird seed), but what about the Cock-A-Mo, the Cockalier, the Cockinese, the Cockeranian, the CockerShnauz (suddenly I get dirty thoughts about Jimmy Durante) or the worst of all, and the dog you hope your girlfriend will never own… the Cocker-Tese.

And that’s only A through C. I don’t think I could go much farther without laughing myself into cardiac arrest. Check out from ‘D’ on at your own risk.

It’s a dog’s life.